Random Thoughts: The Boobs in Public Places Edition

1. I found Beyonce’s Super Bowl half-time show to be yawntastic. I wanted to be impressed with her talent: she’s rich, she’s gorgeous, she’s a star, she’s married to Jay-Z, and has a lovely little baby girl with a cool name.

I found nothing titillating or compelling about her half-time show. I didn’t think what she wore was terribly revealing. I didn’t think what she did with her body (call it dancing if you want) was terribly suggestive. She didn’t sing that much either, which is what I really staying in the room for.

If one of my daughters had come into the room during the half-time show, I wouldn’t have rushed to turn it off. If anything, I think I would’ve pointed out the all-female band playing behind Beyonce. That was some cool shit. Alicia Keys and Jennifer Hudson were much better performers that night, in my opinion. And Alicia Keys looked fabulous in that dress. Mm, mm, mm.

Apparently, some people found the show to be “too sexy”, and some people think that being prudish about Beyonce’s sexiness is objectifying. It could be an interesting argument, I suppose.

2. Of course while everyone fights about Beyonce’s right to be a sexy as she damn well pleases, Mt. Lebanon Library wants a photographer to take down a picture he took of a building. Because it shows an image of a partially-clothed woman (i.e. one breast is exposed). (source: Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)

My favorite thing about the angst at the Mt. Lebanon library is that’s it’s summed up with, basically, someone might make a joke about a bare breast. I’m of the mind that if they have art books, Fifty Shades of Gray, or anime, the library probably has plenty of sexytime stuff to go around. Are they seriously worried that someone’s going to protest a picture of a painted boob? REALLY?

I like Jane Pitt’s take on the whole thing. The comments are punny gold as well.

3. This morning, Kate whipped off her Batgirl nightshirt, stuck out her bony little torso, and declared, “Nipples!” Flora and I started giggling. Then we had this conversation:

“Mom, when you were little were your nipples fat?”
“Flat? Yes, everyone has flat nipples when they’re little kids.”
“No, FAT, fat nipples.”
“No. Momma has never had fat anything.”
“Now you have droopy nipples.”
“Yes. Yes I do.”

Thanks, breastfeeding!

4. And in the meantime, CBS, the network hosting the Grammy Awards on Sunday, has declared itself to be a stick in the mud vis-a-vis “excessive skin”. Snarky take on MamaPop here.

Two things: First, I am giddily excited to actually sit on my couch and watch the Grammys this year. Just about every artist I loved last year (and before) is up for some kind of award: fun., The Black Keys, Mumford & Sons, The Lumineers (great, great live show — very high energy), Alabama Shakes, and (my dirty secret) Rihanna. I’m in. I can’t wait.

Second, with the exception of Rihanna, I’m not sure I want to see excessive skin from any of those rock acts. No offense, Dan Auerbach. I’d rather just watch you play some guitar.

My guess is all this outrage about the degenerate effect that breasts in public have on the poor children is being ginned up by the GOP or the NRA. Let’s take the focus off the continuing dysfunction in Washington and the actual real danger that real guns pose to America’s youth.

Let’s flash some skin.