It’s Not Supposed to be Easy

“What parent has it easy? I just never make the difficulty of it an obstacle. I just do it.” — Marlee Matlin

My parents shared this quote with me this weekend, based in part in my fretting in last Thursday’s post.

I assured them that I don’t actually think about parenting too much. It may look like I over think it, but that’s just because I talk about it “in public” as it were.

It’s true, parenting is a tough job. It’s easy to over think (if you are an over thinker, like I am). Despite the obstacles, once you are a parent, when you are a good parent, Matlin has it right. You just do it.

As one of my history teachers in high school used to say, no one ever claimed life was going to be easy.

I am okay with parenting not being easy. I am okay with not feeling like I am a “natural” parent, like I struggle to parent my children well. I *want* to parent my children well, and I think that’s important.

And yes, I worry, I fret, I over think. And maybe I do make it look harder than it actually is. (Seriously considering making this my new tagline: “I make parenting look hard, yo.”) But I write about it, and I crowd source my parenting, because if I didn’t, this would be one of the things that kept me up. I fret publicly so I can let it go and don’t have to have anxious thoughts at 3 a.m. about this. (I still have anxious thoughts at 3 a.m. They are seldom about how I’m parenting.)

This site has enabled me to find resources to help me parent better. It helps me parent better just by giving me a space and a voice to express myself. Writing things out helps me process the problems, and find my way to solutions. From the people who comment here, to the friends I’ve made on Twitter and IRL, this “blogging” thing has proved very valuable to me. I stumble sometimes, worry about what to write about, but in general, I will probably not give up this space any time soon.

I need it. I don’t care that it doesn’t make me money, and I don’t care that I don’t have a readership of thousands (or even hundreds).

Thank you, Mom and Dad, for worrying that I worry. I do. This space helps me do it constructively.

Thank you, readers, for checking in here and for reading. Thanks especially to my commenters (facie is right; why isn’t this a word?) here and on Twitter. You help me feel less alone in the world of parenting, and you always have something constructive to say. I appreciate that more than I can put in words.