If you were the kind of person to judge a book by its cover, so to speak, what kind of book would I be?
How I got here: I have a coworker who, if I judged him by his cover, I would label an aging hippie, in a positive way — he’s friendly, smiles a lot, wears Hawaiian shirts. I don’t know that he is; I don’t know anything about him. He works in a different department. He looks kind of like Jerry Garcia. Only cleaner. (Sorry, Grateful Dead fans.)
I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what people think about me. I spend almost no time *worrying* about what people think about me. This isn’t necessarily a virture; my husband points that out regularly.
But I just wondered as I was walking around this place that I spend so much fricking time — 40 hours a week! — what people see.
And if I knew what that was, would I want to change it.
Incidentally and as a reference point, this is how I generally look:
or
or
(Only with less red eye.)
Do you judge people by their appearances? Do you worry that people judge you by your appearance?
Red Pen Mama 
Oh I CONSTANTLY worry about what people think about how I look. See: GNO emails. And I judge people by how they look. See: tweets regarding leggings as pants.
You? I see a confident, self-assured, got-it-all-together woman. (even if you’re not! Because, really, who has it all together all the time?)
Yes, but do you worry about it because they might “get” you wrong? And judging people for not dressing well, that’s just understandable. I wonder sometimes if people look in the mirror before they leave the house. And if they do if they are like, “Looking good!” I mean, we live in and around Pittsburgh, so.
I do look in the mirror but it’s less “Looking good!” and more “Looking like shit, as always!”
For all my projected confidence, some days it’s like, “Is everything covered? Good.”
Also: You are too hard on yourself.
Wait. Do I work with you? 😉
LOL. It’s his hair (in part). It’s this wonderful, all white, curly ‘do. That and the big tinted glasses. And the hawaiian shirts. And he’s always smiling. He could be a benevolent religious leader for all I know. I just think “hippie”.
The older you get, the less you care about what people look like because, a) you’re no longer interested in banging them, b) they are REALLY not interested in banging you, and c) you’ve come to the conclusion that there’s a whole lot less you can do about how you look without taking radical steps that include surgery, fake hair, and CGI. Plus, when you get to that place, you find you that you are surprisingly cool with it.
Plus, life is so much easier once you stop giving a crap…
Yes, this.
I don’t care one whit what people think about my appearance because (thank you, Mr. Depression and endless echoes of HS bullying) I already assume that they think the worst of me. Fortunately, I work in tech, where jeans and T-shirts are a standard uniform and I can go disheveled for days on end.
I don’t judge others on their appearances. I pretty much don’t judge, period, unless they’ve done something overtly offensive to a member of my family or vanishingly small inner circle. Do something offensive to me and I’ll try to avoid you, but mentally I’ll just move you to the aeons-long List of Bullies.
I tried to pretend that I didn’t know you and what I would think if I saw you. I would not think three kids at home. I would not think that you’re as old as you are. I would think “who’s that lady with the cute boots taking pictures of herself in the bathroom?”
You are my favorite person today. And hilarious. Thanks!