Ennui Is Just A Fancy Way of Saying I’m Bored

That’s pretty much my problem right now. It’s not that my life is boring, per se, but even the things that are keeping me busy aren’t really interesting to me. My boredom is tipping over into anhedonia — things that used to give me pleasure aren’t any more.

While I still take delight in my children (when they aren’t driving me nuts), the last time I really had a good time was my Hunger Games GNO. Which I just can’t do that every week, people.

Here’s a short list of things that aren’t doing it for me: writing, blogging, reading blogs, Twitter (which — Twitter!), beer, music, chocolate (which — CHOCOLATE!), the book I’m currently reading (the horrid, horrid conclusion to the Earth’s Children saga by Jean M. Auel please let it end soon), television, cooking. My motivation to do anything — start exercising, clean, sort my children’s clothes, polish my toenails — is zero. Zip.

I got nothing.

Yesterday, I had to stay home with Michael. He had gotten a vaccination on Monday evening (the HiB shot I think; he got that and DTP) that caused a fever and extraordinary crankiness (in him, not me). At one point in our day, Michael was laying on me, with his lovey (a green stuffed monkey we call Verde) on top of him, with a blanket over all of us. He was sucking on a bottle — M wanted nothing but milk from his bottle yesterday. We were staring at the television, and frankly I don’t even remember if we were watching CSI: or Psych. Every now and again, M would squeeze Verde’s foot. We were not moving otherwise, and it was clear that we didn’t want to move.

And that pretty much sums up the way I feel lately. I don’t know if I’m overwhelmed, underwhelmed, or just completely (again, with the exception of my children) don’t care anymore.

Before you ask, I’ll just say things between Dan & me are fine — just fine, if you know what I mean. He and I really need to reconnect more or on another level, and with him working and or meeting until 10 p.m. almost every night, it’s not happening right now. Date night needs to happen. I think I have a certificate for a dance lessons around the house somewhere. I should dig that up.

I need a kick in the ass — something new, something to pique my interest again, get my juices flowing. Of course, the catch is, it can’t take any more time than I currently have at my disposal. So, you know, that could be an issue.

What do you do when you’re bored out of your skull?

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11 thoughts on “Ennui Is Just A Fancy Way of Saying I’m Bored

  1. I think I’m in a similar place. I just sort of feel meh about a lot of different things. I’m not sure what I want to do.

  2. Oh, gosh, I could have written this post (minus the parts specifically about your child & husband, because? Creepy! Heh.) and the fact that Rachel and I are doing better than “fine.” But the whole anhedonia thing? I get it. I’m not completely anhedonistic, but I’m just so “BLAH” lately.

    I’m sorry that my comment is nothing more than a “me too”…but I need a solution, too.

    Blah.

  3. Ugh. Hate these phases. Do you have any time to volunteer? Maybe an activity that you could do with one/some/all of your children, as a time-saver and as a way to get her/him/them involved, too? For me, sometimes pouring out is the best way to feel filled up. And it’s almost always a reality check into whatever I think is so awful in my world. I also agree that date night needs to happen. Hope it can, soon:)

    • Well, I’m obligated to volunteer at Flora’s school, and I struggle with that time-wise. Taking on another volunteer commitment isn’t in the cards right now. And, yes, date night. We’ve been looking for something to do on a regular basis, and aren’t having much success!

  4. I totally identify, RPM. I wonder what is up with us? I am starting to think that when I am not in crisis mode, I don’t have any motivation. I have never been a “type A” personality. Do I require a crisis to find my drive? Geez, I hope not.

  5. […] I am having a real crisis directly related to my writing; I have been having this crisis for some time now. (It is also tangentially related to my mothering and working outside the home, but I don’t […]

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