Mute

I’m really struggling with the next thing to say. (Still.)

I don’t know why.

I feel blocked. I feel blah.

I’m toying with some Memory Lane ideas: jury duty (sucked), best date ever (meteor shower with Dan).

I am probably going to post about Lent at the end of Lent, but I gotta tell you, it’s been a very uneven 40 days so far.

I’m putting together my Project: Food Budget post for tomorrow, and I can’t even write up a shopping list. For the record, I’m blocked up at work, too, which is not good. I work at writing copy, and while I usually find it pretty easy to do, I’m not this week (and didn’t last week).

I’m wondering if it has to do with the seasonality of my grief for Gabriel. Or the season in general.

In the meantime, though, I did text my husband. Because I wanted to tell him that I wanted to talk to him.

It wasn’t a “we need to talk” text. I’d just like to have the space to sit down and have a friendly conversation. Doesn’t have to be about anything vital — kid schedules, house cleaning, money. It’d be nice if it weren’t about any of that. I’d like it to not take place at 9:30 p.m. as I’m getting ready to end my day with a little bit of reading.

Maybe that’s why I’m not posting. Because rather than saying things, I just want to talk a little bit. That means listening, too.

What do you want to talk about?

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4 thoughts on “Mute

  1. hugs.

    i don’t know if it’s the time of year or moon cycles, or the solar flares but this month has been a bit odd all around.

    when i get in a funk, i find that doing something totally unrelated helps immensely. go see a crazy movie, take an art class, go on a scavenger hunt around your office or neighborhood. just have some unstructured and disconnected fun!

    and ps – your dad is awesome. 🙂

    • I am getting that “blah” vibe from a lot of other people. Everyone seems unsettled, restless. Something must be in the air!

      My dad *is* awesome — both my parents are! I’m glad he reads my blog without any judgement, but nudges me or comforts me when I need it.

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