I’m feeling very discouraged, so I haven’t been posting.
I am feeling discouraged about the slow rate of change in my life right now. Here it is the end of March, and I am not where I want to be. I hadn’t intended to make big huge changes in my life this year — except for one. And I can’t really talk about that here because: dooce.
Here are some not good things:
1. Flora had pinkeye. Twice. Today is her last day of drops. Putting drops in a 7yo’s eyes is not fun. Chocolate has been the most motivating bribe thus far.
2. I can’t figure out if I’m getting sick or not. Since Saturday, I’ve been feeling pretty crappy: sore throat, achy ears. I have pretty bad allergies that just seem to be getting worse each year. With the early warm weather this spring, they have started sooner than usual, too. Allergy meds and eyedrops, plus pain relievers, are keeping me going. I hope I don’t have an ear infection or strep or something like that. If I’m going to be sick, I need to be definitively sick (fever, can’t move). Because otherwise, I just ignore my body.
Healthy, I know.
3. The mess of my house. I need to get on top of it. Stat. (Again.)
4. I bought a pack of cigarettes. I have since gotten rid of them, but I’m feeling pretty bad that I bought them. And smoked three. One on each of the past three nights.
On the plus side:
1. Saturday night, I had such a fun girls’ night out. A group of us went to see The Hunger Games, and then out to dinner at Bocktown. I cannot say enough good things. I could RAVE about the movie — in sum, aside from being extremely entertaining, it was the best adaptation of a book I’ve ever seen — and that’s something I’m resisting the urge to do. I don’t know why I’m resisting it? I mean, The Hunger Games is pretty much *every where* right now, so I guess I don’t see the point to NOT saying my piece. Except maybe everyone is sick of everyone else’s opinion anyway. I don’t know — this may be part of my ennui and discouragement.
I could also RAVE about sitting around a table in Bocktown with a bunch of friends, eating good food, drinking good beer, and laughing our butts off. But, really, what else can I say? It was a good — nay, a *great* night.
2. Kate is funny. This isn’t news, but, let me present two Sunday night conversations:
Kate: Is Easter coming soon?
Me: Easter is in two weeks.
Kate: Yay! Easter will be here, and we can eat pee-pees!
Me: I think you mean Peeps.
(cue giggling fit)
(As we are watching the hockey game.)
Kate: Which team are we?
Me: We are the black team. The Penguins.
Kate: Go, Penguins! What’s the white team called?
Me: The New Jersey Devils.
Kate: That’s a full mouth. Can I just call them Devils?
Me: Yes, yes you can.
3. Michael said, “book” last night. He also nods his head now, which is hilarious. It’s kind of a cross between “yes” and headbanging.
I guess I’m kind of in “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” mode. It seems wrong to be so down in the dumps — it’s not as if anything is really wrong (knock on wood).
I need a swift kick in the pants. Or maybe some pictures of puppies.
How are you feeling these days? Up or down?