Random Thoughts: The I Can’t Win Edition

Monday to Tuesday, Michael finally slept through the night after weeks of not doing so.

I, on the other hand, was up from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. Racing thoughts, general anxiety, etc., etc.

Insomnia can suck it.


I can’t get comfortable at work. Sweater on, too hot. Sweater off, too cold. I feel as if I’m still sick: my head hurts, my throat hurts, my neck and shoulders are stiff and achy. My whole body, actually, feels as if I’ve been beaten with a whiffle ball bat.

I have not taken my temperature. Because that would be conclusive. And I don’t have anymore time to take at work, so it doesn’t matter. I’m just going to hunker in my cubicle until the end of the year, and hope I don’t infect anyone. If I am sick, which I may not be. It may just be stress.


I usually get to work an hour to an hour and a half early on Thursdays. It helps to off-set the days I have to bolt because of a sick child or school meeting.

Yesterday, the girls could not have been more unhappy about this. I’ve been doing it for months, pretty much since I came back to work after Michael’s birth. We’ve had time to get used to the idea. My MIL comes over to help get everyone out the door.

Yesterday, Flora was clingy and sad; she wanted me to drop her off at school. Kate was just generally in a foul mood, and didn’t want me to leave.

I found it especially frustrating because on the days that I do actually drop them off at school or daycare, they move like molasses. Dan and I have to say the same things over and over again to get them out the door. I finally put together a schedule (morning and evening) for each of the girls to try to make our time together less fraught and stressful. No one likes yelling mommy (or daddy).

Someone tell me why I’m working full-time again? Because mornings like yesterday seriously make me wonder.