Last year at this time, I was massively (relatively speaking) pregnant. I had an uncooperative baby (see: transverse lie). We had a tentative plan regarding Michael’s birth. It involved a C-section.
The Wednesday before Thanksgiving would be my last day of work for three months.
For some reason this year, I am thinking a lot about “this time last year”. I don’t know why. As per, the end of my pregnancy was a stressful time. Dan and I were wrecks.
And then this happened. [warning: frank talk about a hard labor ahead]
So it can’t be nostalgia.
Maybe not nostalgia so much as remembering the feelings of anticipation I had. I was facing the birth of a baby boy, I didn’t know how my family was going to adjust, I didn’t know if I was going to need to have a C-section, and so on. I wanted more than anything to meet him and start our lives with him.
I don’t have that this year, because, der, he’s here. But there was something so sweet about those anticipatory feelings. Feelings that I am almost 100% sure I will never have again (and I’m fine with that). I mean, I’m hoping God doesn’t have other plans for me and Dan in the parenthood department, but you know what we always say around here?
Want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans!
I am so, so blessed in my life. I’m reflecting instead of anticipating. Other new things will come.
But for now, I count to three.
Photo courtesy of @mattieflap, who came to see me when Michael was about a week old. She brought me cookies! Something else that is probably not going to happen this year. Maybe if I bribe her with wine…