Lucky Me

Last year at this time, I was massively (relatively speaking) pregnant. I had an uncooperative baby (see: transverse lie). We had a tentative plan regarding Michael’s birth. It involved a C-section.

The Wednesday before Thanksgiving would be my last day of work for three months.


For some reason this year, I am thinking a lot about “this time last year”. I don’t know why. As per, the end of my pregnancy was a stressful time. Dan and I were wrecks.

And then this happened. [warning: frank talk about a hard labor ahead]

So it can’t be nostalgia.

Maybe not nostalgia so much as remembering the feelings of anticipation I had. I was facing the birth of a baby boy, I didn’t know how my family was going to adjust, I didn’t know if I was going to need to have a C-section, and so on. I wanted more than anything to meet him and start our lives with him.

I don’t have that this year, because, der, he’s here. But there was something so sweet about those anticipatory feelings. Feelings that I am almost 100% sure I will never have again (and I’m fine with that). I mean, I’m hoping God doesn’t have other plans for me and Dan in the parenthood department, but you know what we always say around here?

Want to make God laugh? Tell her your plans!

I am so, so blessed in my life. I’m reflecting instead of anticipating. Other new things will come.

But for now, I count to three.

Photo courtesy of @mattieflap, who came to see me when Michael was about a week old. She brought me cookies! Something else that is probably not going to happen this year. Maybe if I bribe her with wine…

5 thoughts on “Lucky Me

  1. Remember when his pants fell off him because he was so tiny and they were so big?!

    And I can be bribed. Oh yes I can. šŸ˜‰

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

    • HAHAHA! I had forgotten that. Lost in a haze of sleep deprivation no doubt. All my babies were such peanuts.

      Okay, we’ll coordinate schedules, and I’ll submit a bribe. Hang in there, mama.

      Happy Thanksgiving to you and the boys, too — all three of them!

    • I found your blog and your story by following the link in your name on this comment. I just want to say how sorry am I that you’re having to travel this road and that you’ll be in my prayers as you find your way.

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