Just in case you are under the delusion that girls are delicate little flowers (I mean, I’m sure many girl children are, but mine? Not so much):
Both these conversations took place Saturday, on our way to Target.
#1
Flora: Remember when we went to Erie?
Me: Yes.
Flora: Remember when we went to that huge amusement park?
Me (scoffing at Waldameer being referred to as “huge”): Yes.
Flora: And we went on that train ride?
(The ride was the kiddieland version of a pirate ship ride, big swoops. I couldn’t do it; my mom went on with the girls.)
Flora: That was the perfect ride for Kate. Because it was called Little Toot! Get it?
Me: Because Kate toots all the time?
(Kate, BTW, is finding this conversation hilarious, and giggling away.)
Flora, laughing: Yeah! We should call her Little Toot!
Me: What would we call Daddy? Big Toot?
Flora and Kate: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Flora: And when Michael starts tooting, we’ll call him Tiny Toot!
++
#2
Me: What are you girls going to be for Halloween?
Kate, dreamily: I’m going to be a pretty, pretty butterfly.
Flora: I’m going to be a vampire! Or a skeleton. What’s scarier, a vampire or a skeleton?
Kate: Or a ghost?
Flora: What’s scarier? A vampire, a skeleton, a ghost, or a zombie?
Me: A zombie. Zombies are the scariest (Am I wrong?)
Kate: I’m going to be a zombie!
Flora: I’m still going to be a vampire.
Red Pen Mama 
When Michael *starts*? I thought babies farted from birth! Mine sure did!
Oh, yes, he definitely toots all the time. Flora doesn’t notice because 1) she’s not holding him when he does and 2) they aren’t yet super stinky. Like some other people’s who may or may not reside in this house.
My boys toot all the time.
… I fear I’ll need a gas mask when they’re teenagers.
*snicker* Pro’lly.
We call ’em pooties. And they are always, always, hilarious. At least to the kiddos.
My mother outlawed the word “fart” in our house growing up. We started calling them fluffies. The word “fluffy” still makes me giggle.
My parents also outlawed “Fart” and called them “foo-foos” instead. As you can imagine, the song about little bunny foo-foo was hilarious when I was a kid.
Toots are funny, especially to little boys, and remain so until… well… I’ll let you know.
Yes, I guess I’m hoping my girls (at least) will outgrow the potty humor. Their dad certainly hasn’t yet!