I know that I’ve done this two other times, but honestly I have forgotten EVERYTHING about having a baby. For example, when can I expect M to get on a schedule? When will he start going to bed around 7 p.m. and sleeping until 6 or 7 a.m.? (I realize the answer to that latter question may be never, but I’m being optimistic.)
I think I may have to get a baby book from the library for review. Talk about repressing things!
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We have discussed many possible nicknames for Michael. Dan calls him Murph. I call him Junior, which is ironic because he’s not a junior. Kate calls him Luke. We can all agree though on “Fussass” because that’s what he is, especially in the evenings. Oy.
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Speaking of evenings, they are probably the most difficult time of day for me, especially when Dan isn’t home. Which is most evenings. It’s just chaotic when the girls come home from daycare: feedings, bathings, entertaining, putting to bed. We watch too much television, and meals are catch as catch can. If Michael is awake, which he usually is between 4 p.m. and 8, 9, 10 p.m., he’s fussing and/or crying.
I wonder sometimes if it’s womb memories (if there are such things). Evenings when I was pregnant with M were hard for me, especially the first and third trimesters. The first I was too tired/nauseous; the third I was too tired/ungainly. So I was extra stressed trying to care for the kids on my own. If that has carried over to M and his attitude in the evenings, that sucks. And I am sincerely hoping it ends soon. Because doing the evenings with two kids and pregnant on my own was much easier than doing it with three kids, one of whom is crying inconsolably.
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The good part about Michael and his crying ways is that I am spending a lot of time on the stability ball with him. He finds it soothing — a least for short periods of time. I am going to have a killer core!
Red Pen Mama 
Baby 411: Best go-to baby guide ever, even as a refresher for third kids. Mine is dog-eared everywhere. Hugs to Fussass (and you)! Hope the crying jags end soon!
I will check that out of the library, post haste. Thank you!
You can HAVE my books…I have Dr. Sears Baby book and what to expect the first year (which I know has caused some controversy here in posts past…oh well) I will send with your parents as soon as I can.
evenings are a tough time for newborns in general…please please PLEASE do not blame yourself for him being fussy. I still am amazed at how well you handled evenings by yourself BEFORE Michael. here are some thoughts…take as you will…
see if Dear Dr can give you one evening during the week. Just one. Or maybe just bring home dinner for you and the girls.
Talk to Flora about more ways she can help you…clearing the table after dinner, fetching things as you need them. Kate too, if you think it will help. You know the old saying, no one’s happy if MAMA’s not happy?
Is there anyone close by that can entertain the girls a couple evenings at the house while you attend to Michael Fussy Pants?
Don’t feel like you have to do it all by yourself, or that you are anything but a wonderful mom. You need some help…ask for it until you get it.
Don’t worry about the TV either. It’s January, you have a fussy newborn, and you all have to get through the night somehow. It’s not going to hurt them…everything will change when the weather warms up.
I love you lots and can’t wait to meet Michael! And Happy Belated Birthday, Kate!
I will take you up on those books, and thank you. (I think it was the WTE When You’re Expecting that caused the rumpus last time.)
I didn’t mean to sound like I was blaming myself — I’m truly not. I just was wondering if there was cause and effect. I get a little overwhelmed in the evenings and I don’t like that feeling — that things are out of control.
I do have quite a bit of help at times, actually. My inlaws couldn’t be nicer or more helpful, and when Dan is home, he shoulders half the load without complaint. He will take the baby or bathe the girls, clean up a room. I’ve yet to get him to fold laundry consistently, but maybe someday! 😉 And Flora and Kate CAN be helpful, they just aren’t always. Flora has a very short attention span, so I have to ask her to do something 10 times, and they can be hearing challenged.
But we are getting there.
Thanks for all the notes and encouragement. I appreciate your friendship more than you know!
see you soon.
Don’t obsess on whether or not you are doing things well enough – my kids love watching television, and they have been very good critics because we have watched together. My youngest’s favorite channel when he was little was ‘boomerang’ with the discovery channel and the science channel as close seconds. He gets great grades in science, not a big surprise, and he did some very funny videos. I agree with your friends: the doctor needs to give you at least one night at home and awake per week, for everyone’s sake. Spending too much time working because I was afraid the referrals would dry up was a big part of my first marriage breaking up, and one I did not repeat in my second marriage. Feel free to tell him I said he needs to – I helped train him after all and he’s not supposed to make my mistakes, just my successes 😉
Did you get your box? I do hope so – I didn’t put package tracking on it like a dolt.
I did get it, and a thank you card is wending its way to you.
And I will pass your message along to Dan! 😉
Best book I ever received was “The Baby Book” by Dr. Sears. My babies never got on schedule until about 2 or 3 months.
Also – Claire was always cranky at night. The way I would curb that would be to stick her in my sling and ‘wear’ her. She liked the closeness and motion. That way, I was able to still cook dinner without her fussing too much. Also – warm baths. It made both my cranky kids happy. California Baby makes a great bathsoap called “Overtired and Cranky” which has been heaven sent in our household.
I totally see where you’re at. Being as my oldest is 3 and my second child is 19 months, it’s all still very VERY fresh in my mind.
Hang on, Mama.
I have tried wearing Michael, and he usually HATES it. Once in awhile he’ll be fine with it, but more often than not, it doesn’t work for him. Baths, on the other hand, work great. Dan picked up a California baby soap with lavender that chills Michael right out.