I celebrated the New Year on my couch, with my husband, a kiss, a glass of Asti Spumanti, and a sleeping infant on me.
Hey, I’ve had worse New Year’s Eves.
The past two weeks I have been struggling with “baby blues” and/or post-partum depression. The slightest thing can make me cry — even good things, like Kate sitting in my lap at the end of the day, declaring that “this” — sitting in Mommy’s lap before bedtime — is her favorite part of the day.
Most of the struggle has to do with the fact that I sincerely feel I cannot take care of my family. I’m quite overwhelmed, and a number of mornings lately I have debated about getting up at all.
As I told my husband, if the morning comes that I decide I’m NOT getting up for nothing, then I’ll consider medication.
So far, I have gotten up. I even have showered almost every day!
I guess it’s good that I recognize how I am feeling. And I know I have the resources to do what I can do. And I have a good husband who can hear me and help me.
So: Here’s to a new year, and a new start.
Cheers.
Red Pen Mama 
I understand that feeling of not being able to do all the things for your family that you could do before you had the baby. It was a huge adjustment for me when we had our second. All I can offer is to let yourself off the hook a little bit. If everyone is clothed and fed, a messy house or some forgotten library books are very, very minor. It wasn’t until J was around 6 months old that I felt like I could start to tackle doing everything again and not feel overwhelmed by it. His first 3 months were hard – colic and reflux – and I just did what I could to survive.
Hang in there. Call in the troops if you need them.
The bad news? I feel like the kids are NOT getting fed. isn’t that terrible? I’m going to post more on this later. Now that things are getting back to the normal schedule, I think I’ll get my feet under me a little more. here’s hoping!
Yes, those postpartum hormones are quite a roller coaster, aren’t they? Hang in there. Sounds like you’re doing all the right things … and even showering! That’s a serious win. Happy 2011 to you and your beautiful family, too.
I agree, give yourself a break. Keeping shoes on the girls is a full time job, if they are anything like the boys were at that age, let alone having to be a new mama. Taking care of yourself is as important to their growth as anything you will ever do to them or for them, because you are modeling what it means to be a healthy grownup. Just like they say when you go through the airplane drills: “put your own air mask on before you try to help anyone else”.
God bless and expect a box in the mail this week.
Yeah, i’m struggling. The onslaught of the holidays seriously gummed things up, too. I think if we had been on a normal schedule without the influx of new stuff that needs homes, it would’ve been a bit easier.
Thanks, and I’ll keep my eye out for that box! Yay!