My parents have asked me to say a few words at Grandma’s funeral in a couple of days. They are basing their request on some of the blog posts I have written here, including yesterday’s. I am touched and nervous and honored — and I have agreed to say a few words.
I am a much better writer than I am a public speaker, but I think I’ll do all right. For her, I will do all right.
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I wanted to thank every single person on Twitter who extended their condolences and offered prayers and hugs. When I mentioned eulogizing Grandma, many of you stepped up with a lot of encouragement. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. I’m so glad to be part of a community that not only celebrates with (and laughs at) its members, but one that will extend itself to hold us up. Thanks, again.
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I mentioned on Twitter that I was afraid of crying in front of my children when speaking about Grandma. I don’t mean just regular old crying. I think it’s perfectly okay to cry in front of my kids, especially over the death of someone whom I love. I meant that I was afraid of sobbing so hard I couldn’t speak kind of crying. I don’t know that I will do that. I am very sad, of course, and I expect that seeing my mom and being at the funeral home will cause me some tears. And I’m okay with that.
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Telling the girls that G.G. had died, which we did last night, went much better than I expected. Neither one cried; Flora had a lot of questions about when we, her parents, might die (that’s fun!), but other than that, it went smoothly.
Which isn’t to say that I don’t expect a lot of tears, questions, and/or fears over the next couple of days — and beyond. When confronted with death, kids think about it a lot, and always seem to want to address it at the most interesting times.
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On a final not death-related note: Lost in the shuffle in the past couple of days is the fact that yesterday was Dan & my wedding anniversary. Nine years ago yesterday, we were married. I couldn’t do any of this without him, and I’ll be counting on him even more over the next couple of days. But I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side, and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to do it alone. Thanks, babe. I love you, as always for always.
Red Pen Mama 