The Mysteries of Facebook

I don’t spend much time on Facebook — even when I first set up my profile there, I didn’t visit much. (If you are a Facebook friend of mine, I hope you don’t take this personally.) They are always changing things up over there, those crazy kids, and the endless way my e-mail inbox fills up when I leave the occasional comment makes me insane. I just visit now and again to update my privacy settings.

My first love has always been Twitter, and hells bells, I have a blog if you really need to know what I’m up to. But Facebook has been good for 1) writing on my sister’s wall 2) seeing how my high school graduating class is holding up (very well, thankyouverymuch), and 3) seeing family photos (because they are HI-larious).

Uncle Crappy talked about the Facebook application, My Friend Secrets, and has compiled a list of questions (not necessarily from My Friend Secrets). (Like Uncle Crappy, I am not on Facebook to play games.) And just for the hell of it, because I’ve been a little busy lately, I decided to lift this post and use it for my own. I don’t think he’ll mind.

Do you think that Red Pen Mama:
…likes British accents? Australian ones are better. Scottish burrs and Irish brogues actually cause melting.

…likes blue eyes? Have you met my husband?

… is part of the Mile-High Club? Not unless this refers to changing diapers on a plane.

…can cook? Hells, yeah!

…has ever failed a class? No, but I got a D in Calculus once.

…is a good driver? Unless I’m tailgating you on the highway because you’re not passing in the left lane, you probably think I’m a good driver.

…has good taste? I don’t even know if I have good taste. I go with what I like.

…recycles dirty underwear? While this would vastly cut down on the amount of laundry that I do, NO. Plus, I throw out underpants if Kate has a poopy accident (yeah, still happening). I’m over it.

…will do anything to get what she wants? I would be curious to see Dan’s answer to this question.

…should pass on the chocolate cake? No way. Have you seen how skinny I am (when I’m not rocking the pregnant belly)? That baby needs some calories! Give me that cake, and put some vanilla ice cream right next to it.

…is hot? I think I left hot behind at 25, but I also often think I am still 25, so mileage may vary.

…thinks shopping at Walmart is classy? If you know me at all, you know I don’t even shop at Walmart.

…has ever slapped anyone? I’m sure people think I have done this (and I’m not referring to my children, whom I have never).

…spends more than an hour on Facebook every day? Now you sure don’t.

…has ever skinny dipped? Those who know the true answer to this are few.

…has ever eaten a booger? No.

…is a jerk? I wouldn’t think that people would think this about me, but Dan will tell you I am not the most socially sensitive gal on the playground.

…has ever stolen money from friends? No.

…has ever cheated on a test? No.

…was a dork in high school? I am sure there are people who totally thought I was a dork in high school. I occasionally think I was a dork in high school. But I had lots of friends, and everyone knew who I was (I was managing editor of the school paper, editor of the literary magazine, and on yearbook, plus I stood up and yelled at my principal when she announced my alma mater was going co-ed) and I didn’t really care what people think/did think.

…has ever lied to avoid a date? Um, yes. For women this is a survival tactic. I plan on teaching my girls how to do it with grace.

…is fun to be around? Mileage varies, I am sure.

…is cute? *Shrug* That is not a word I would use to describe myself.

What do you think?

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4 thoughts on “The Mysteries of Facebook

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