It’s Not You, It’s Me

Pittsburgh has a lot of fun stuff going on at any given time.

You can go to a ball game, a museum, an amusement park. You can usually find a fun Tweetup — or even create your own.

And I am sitting out a lot of this good stuff. There was a tailgate party last Saturday that up until last Wednesday I had planned to attend. Because tailgate parties are fun! And I like all the people who were going, and I don’t get to see them nearly enough as it is! And the kids would have had a great time.

And I didn’t go. I didn’t go to the funnel cake party or the Hebrew National picnic, a few weeks ago, either.

I’m not going to my work picnic at Kennywood. And I love me some Kennywood. I haven’t been in two years!

The thought of getting my pregnant self and my two children out of the house by a certain time, often with some kind of food to contribute to an event, and meet up with a bunch of people at a certain time — people whom I like very much at events that would be FUN FUN FUN — is simply beyond my ability right now.

Actually, that’s not true: I can do it. I am choosing not to. In an effort to minimize my stress, I have had to just say to myself: “Self, you must chill out.” And I am right.

While these people are fun and these events are fun, I would not be having fun. It’s not fun to be physically challenged as I am right now and have Kate in a public place. It is super-duper stressful. And although I know I have people who can and will take on Kate at these events, I would feel bad for allowing that. (My husband will be among the people telling me I should let that go.)

This is like the Lenten Twitter fast, only in reverse. That is, I am interacting with all these people on Twitter, but not IRL* (as we say on the Interwebz).

But at least I get to go to this tonight.

And while I am very sad to be missing what is sure to be the party of the year, and an event by a blogger whom I much admire and a tweep with whom I much enjoy “talking”, I have a long overdue dinner planned with my very best friends from childhood, N and M. If it were here in Pittsburgh, we would totally be hitting #helloSAL, but the three of us are meeting in Erie instead.

If I am lucky, I will even get to schedule a coffee date with a high school friend, H.

On the bright side, I am driving up to Erie ALONE. I am going to have a nice, long dinner with M and N. In a restaurant that doesn’t even offer mac’n’cheese on the menu. We will probably stay for coffee and dessert. And I will sleep in (until 8:30? 9 a.m.?) on Sunday. And then I will drive home to my children and my no doubt frazzled husband, and host dinner for my in-laws. (Homemade pizza!) And life will go back to normal, or what normal is for now.

And maybe I will miss a few more fun things, but I will get to go to a few, too.

And then, November will come, and we’ll have a whole new normal to get used to.

Bring it.

*In Real Life.