Week 20: 50/50

Technically speaking, I am halfway through this pregnancy. In reality, I probably have about 18 weeks left (before inducing).

When I say it like that, “18 weeks”, it sounds like a terribly short time. At the same time, though, this pregnancy, for various and sundry reasons, seems to be taking forever. I’m so glad to finally be at 20 weeks. Now that I can feel Le Bud move more, it’s a little less anxiety producing. Also: dreams help. And emails from my mom.

Tomorrow we are going to get the Level II ultrasound. I’m actually pretty excited, primarily because we will be finding out how outnumbered Dan is going to be (as long as Le Bud cooperates).

Now before I tell you my guess, I want to make something abundantly clear: I don’t care if this baby is a boy or girl. As long as Bud comes into this world safe and sound, with 10 fingers and 10 toes, and is strong and healthy (does that sound like I’m asking a lot?), I could care less what is between his/her legs.

As my MIL put it succinctly last night: “Girls scream and boys break things.” In other words, both sexes have their, oh, let’s call them downsides.

Okay? Okay.

I think I’m having a boy.

I knew Gabriel was a boy. I knew Flora was a girl. With Kate, I did not know, and I attribute that to not being 100% sure when she was conceived, plus her being a bit of a surprise/unplanned, plus not being sure what my heart wanted her to be (does that make sense? In other words: Gabriel was a boy, but he didn’t make it; Flora was a girl and she did.)

But since the + pregnancy test, I have felt sure that Le Bud is a boy. I don’t have a thing on which to base that feeling. Unless you count timing (I can tell you when Bud was conceived, and I was, um, having a lot of fertile fluid at the time) and little indications like: When I was pregnant with Gabriel, I had horrible breakouts, especially in the first trimester. The only thing that worked was Noxema. Same thing this time around.

I could, of course, be completely off base. I have a 50/50 chance of being wrong. Dan has done nothing but pick girls’ names this time around, and I don’t like a one of them. I can’t seem to find a girl name I like right now. Which would be a clear indicator that I am having a girl. (Crazy pregnancy reasoning: I haz it!)

Flora thinks Bud is a boy; Kate thinks Bud is a girl. Someone’s going to be disappointed.

But, given all the conditions I’ve listed above, it’s not going to be me.