In Over My Head

I totally freaked on my husband yesterday morning.

After three evenings spent at my MIL’s, three evenings in which I was getting nothing done at my own house, I came to Saturday morning with a kitchen to clean, a week’s worth of mail and bills to sort, file, and/or shred, and more than a week’s worth of laundry. Dan informed me — as he was walking out the door to go to work this morning — that he was on his third day of going commando. Although I had managed to keep my children in pajamas (so to speak) they were out of socks. I, myself, am having a hard time with clothes between not having clean ones and not having much that fits well at this point.

I was at my ILs because we were invited. I was at my ILs because my MIL was trying to help me — she DID help me, as she fed us all, and my daughters had two sleepovers along with Niece, and I came home to collapse in bed at the early hour of 9 p.m. And I was not wakened by pee-drenched or nightmare-scared children.

But I wasn’t getting home until 9 p.m. Which meant my chores weren’t getting done.

And with every intention of getting right down to it this morning being thwarted (unwittingly, I suppose) by my children every five minutes, I pretty much had a breakdown on the phone with my dear husband.

Who was perfectly understanding.

The upshot was that I sent him to the party we had both planned to attend; the babysitter came over; I continued to clean, and then went shopping (at Costco); the babysitter bathed my children; and I put them to bed.

I know it wasn’t ideal, but nothing is right now. (If ever.) I am glad I still have two more days in this weekend because I only got about half of what I needed to done, and we are hosting dinner tomorrow. I gotta decide what jobs I am handing over to Dan (mopping the floor is probably high on that list) and chip away at everything else.

The part that is toughest is that with all the time my children have spent in the care of others (my mom & dad were down last weekend so that Dan & I could clean — nay, purge — our office) lately, I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with them myself.

And I miss the little buggers, for as crazy as some stuff is driving me (more on that later).

But I scared myself (and my husband) with my stress and my tears yesterday morning. And sometimes I wonder what we have gotten into.

And then I take a deep breath, send a prayer up to God, and pretty much (try to) get on with it.

Because, you know, this:

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7 thoughts on “In Over My Head

  1. Hang in there!!! Just blame hormones for not doing chores 😉 It will get better soon….then it will get worse ;). You will adjust though and it will all be worth it. Good Luck!! I know it will all sort itself out soon.

  2. argh. I had a similar meltdown around the same time in my first trimester. Dan had been out of town for work and to visit his dying grandmother in Baltimore. I was alone with Maggie for most of the week, buried in work, so tired I just wanted to throw up (plus I was naturally nauseous so you know: YAY!), I’d had to take Maggie to the ER for x-rays while he was gone, Maggie wasn’t sleeping like she normally does because Daddy was away and she knew something was ‘off’. Dan finally came home and immediately took her off my hands, with the news that we’d probably have to be making the trip to Baltimore together for a funeral, and then he was leaving AGAIN for a work trip. He was upstairs trying to calm Maggie down at bedtime (she was still not back to normal with sleeping) and I just sat in the kitchen and cried. Looking around at the disgusting house, feeling like crap physically and emotionally, feeling guilty because Dan had just said goodbye to his grandmother, likely for the last time, and here I was, worried ABOUT MYSELF, OMG HOW SELFISH. And… well, you know how quickly it can spiral out of control in your head.

    So yeah. I know where you are. It totally sucks. Try to cut yourself some slack, Mama. You’re doing all that you can! It’ll be better soon *hugs*

    • I know, I felt just terrible. And it completely caught me off guard, and my husband was at work (where he deals with crazy people, hello) and here I was sobbing on my couch. Just AWESOME.

      Well, it helps to know I’m not completely alone, and that I’ll start feeling better. Plus, Dan’s been great. Now I just gotta whip these kids into shape. 😉

  3. oh mama…you need a hug! and a housekeeper!
    it’ll be okay…it is so tough when you are soooo tired!
    can anyone help with the laundry?

    • My MIL has been kind enough to put in time helping me fold, so there’s that. I just have to get into the habit of doing a load each night, which is difficult right now.

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