Verboten

Here are the Top 10 Things I will try not to Twitter about during this pregnancy. Actually, after this post, I will try not to blog about them either. But I make no promises on that later point.

10. The unrelenting nausea. I don’t know who coined the phrase “morning sickness”, but they were either very stupid or very optimistic. I am sick all day long, and nothing much really helps.

9. The overwhelming fatigue. I can’t remember the last time (not counting Lost nights) that I stayed up past 9-9:30. I usually pass out on the couch. My house is slowly crumbling around me because I cannot stay up to get shite done. Thank goodness for weekends, when I can a) sleep in, b) take a nap (also on the couch) and c) get caught up on the laundry.

8. The puking. Now, I puked once in each of my first trimesters. This time around, I have already outpaced that record — I’ve puked once for each of my pregnancies, and then some. I cannot express how much I am looking forward to week 12 (or week 14, like it was with Kate). I have my fingers crossed that this unrelenting nausea and attendant heaving/puking come to a stop.

7. I will say this one time: This baby was conceived directly on top of my bladder. Here I am, at 8 weeks along, unable to go very long without a restroom visit. And already waking up twice a night to pee. Joy.

6. Any and all sundry other oozy physical manifestations of pregnancy. No one (else) needs to know about all that. Read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” for the terrifying details. Pregnancy isn’t all that pretty sometimes.

5. The fact that none of my clothes fit, already, and I’m not really sure what I have in terms of maternity wear. I need to get back on Freepeats.com and find some clothes. Because I’m not buying a whole new wardrobe for 30-some weeks. (Donations welcome.)

4. I will also only say this once: Potty-training a toddler and first trimester nausea do not mix. Especially when a Port-o-Potty is sometimes involved. But, hey, we are diaper-free until late November! Whoo-hoo!

3. This means I’m going to have a 3-year-old again someday. And he/she will need to be potty-trained. Hold me.

2. My frustration with people telling me that the unrelenting nausea is a good sign. According to “What to Expect” [dot] com, “…women who do experience some nausea are significantly less likely to miscarry than women who don’t experience any…”. That just doesn’t make me feel better — I mean, about the nausea. The only thing that makes me feel better is sleep. Of which I am not getting enough.

1. Lastly, I will strive to not tweet about the various aches/pains/discomforts that this pregnancy is sure to bring. I am in the worst shape of my adult life, plus I’m pushing a certain round age that starts with 4 and ends in not-9. I’m already having some alarming twinges that will only increase in frequency as this baby gets bigger. I should probably go find a pregnancy chiropractor now. And develop a recovery/exercise plan for after the baby is born. I will need to get my muscle tone back, and fast.

I cannot thank you all enough for the kind words and congratulations on yesterday’s post (and at Twitter). All I ask now is that you pray for us and a successful outcome to this pregnancy. I know that’s all Dan and I want.

Also, I will try not to blog obsessively about being pregnant, but I don’t know how that’s going to go. Pregnancy is all-consuming — trust me. And I have a lot of issues vis-a-vis pregnancy, many of them, frankly, not so cheery. But there will be high points, too, and in the meantime, Flora and Kate will continue to grow and change and do goofy stuff and say goofy things that I can report. I’ll post more about music and books and Lost. So don’t give up on me.