They’re Baaack!

(Warning: Yelling Ahead. Also, Strong Language Implied and Explicit.)

A distinct disadvantage to bug bombing our house is that now we have a lot of cleaning to do — wiping down surfaces in the kitchen and bathroom, vacuuming, mopping, washing ALL of the dishes and linens. I’m not 100% sure when the de-tox will be done.

But I got started last night. And as I was cleaning the kitchen… out of the corner of my eye… no, it couldn’t be.

It was. A G-D FRUIT FLY. And then, a few minutes later — ANOTHER G-D FRUIT FLY.

Are you kidding me? We had filled our home with poison and stayed at my in-laws for three days, and the eff’ers weren’t destroyed yet? Judging from the corpses I have swept, vacuumed, and wiped up, that stuff had killed spiders, ladybugs, stink bugs, and, yes, many, many G-D FRUIT FLIES. But, apparently, not ALL of them? WTF?

I texted Dan: “I just saw a fruit fly.” I followed up with, “Please bring home bleach and apple cider vinegar.”

I immediately hung a fly strip where I saw the eff’ers. I almost immediately caught two.

Two fruit flies are not going to become 50 or 100. Not this time. Fruit and garbage cans will continue to be banished. Dishes will continue to be immediately washed and dried, and all damp towels will be laundered.

At some point in the near future, the refrigerator will have to be sanitized.

The day we were getting ready to bomb the house originally — last Friday — Dan was setting things up. He trapped a G-D FRUIT FLY under a wine glass in the dining room.

That fucker is still alive, still trapped under the wine glass. The things live on air. MY HOME IS INFESTED WITH DEMON-SPAWN, MUTANT, G-D FRUIT FLIES.


Send the men in white coats. I’ll go quietly. I’m actually looking forward to it.

9 thoughts on “They’re Baaack!

  1. I am watching this situ carefully. I saw no FF this morning. Now I’m certain they will be back by evening. It’s not just your house. It’s not just Pittsburgh even.

    Maybe we should pretend they are pigeons and unleash a little PittGirl on their ass.

    • I saw none this morning, either, except for the four stuck to the fly strip. They seem to be confined to the kitchen (knock wood).

      It actually crossed my mind to invite pigeons into the house to see who was more evil, pigeons or the G-D FRUIT FLIES. But then I would probably need hell cats and hell hounds, and there would be no end to the problem — ala the old lady who swallowed a fly.

      Also: nice to know we’re not alone.

      thanks for the comment!


  2. I feel your pain. I’ve had them in the salon for a couple of weeks. We have NO FRUIT in the salon. Actually, the only food we have is chocolate. I finally resorted to making a trap. I took a smaller jar, with a metal lid (short, fat olive jar) and I nailed holes in the top. I filled with about an inch of apple cider vinegar and put in a slice of apple. Those f’rs crawl in but can’t get out. Works like a charm. I am not sure if you tried this or anyone mentioned this to you before, but thought it may help!

    Good luck with your war, both of you!

    • Rhonda,

      My husband and I did do this (vinegar, apple cores, wine, beer), but I think prior to bombing, there were simply too many to destroy. We will be taking these steps again to eliminate the few that managed to survive. Thank you!

      Honestly, there is no food in my kitchen (aside from what’s in the ‘fridge) and no garbage and we’re trying to keep every thing very, very dry. I don’t know what the stupid things are living on. Maybe brains…

      Thanks for the comment!


  3. I hate those little bastards. A couple of months back I had them in MY CAR! I’m lucky I didn’t wreck. But we have recently been battling something worse – pantry moths. They are AWFUL.

    • Yeah – dry pet food is a real problem, no matter how carefully you store it. And once you get those suckers they are SO hard to get rid of.

    • I was talking to someone else who had moths. I think the culprit was dog food, a big tub of it in the garage. I don’t know if that would apply in your case.

      Good luck. The bugs have been real bastards this year. Dang cool, rainy weather.


      Thanks for the comment!


  4. Any advice on those Pantry Moths Gina? We have them too, I think I finally got them under control, but still see a stray one or two every now and then.

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