They’re Baaack!

(Warning: Yelling Ahead. Also, Strong Language Implied and Explicit.)

A distinct disadvantage to bug bombing our house is that now we have a lot of cleaning to do — wiping down surfaces in the kitchen and bathroom, vacuuming, mopping, washing ALL of the dishes and linens. I’m not 100% sure when the de-tox will be done.

But I got started last night. And as I was cleaning the kitchen… out of the corner of my eye… no, it couldn’t be.

It was. A G-D FRUIT FLY. And then, a few minutes later — ANOTHER G-D FRUIT FLY.

Are you kidding me? We had filled our home with poison and stayed at my in-laws for three days, and the eff’ers weren’t destroyed yet? Judging from the corpses I have swept, vacuumed, and wiped up, that stuff had killed spiders, ladybugs, stink bugs, and, yes, many, many G-D FRUIT FLIES. But, apparently, not ALL of them? WTF?

I texted Dan: “I just saw a fruit fly.” I followed up with, “Please bring home bleach and apple cider vinegar.”

I immediately hung a fly strip where I saw the eff’ers. I almost immediately caught two.

Two fruit flies are not going to become 50 or 100. Not this time. Fruit and garbage cans will continue to be banished. Dishes will continue to be immediately washed and dried, and all damp towels will be laundered.

At some point in the near future, the refrigerator will have to be sanitized.

The day we were getting ready to bomb the house originally — last Friday — Dan was setting things up. He trapped a G-D FRUIT FLY under a wine glass in the dining room.

That fucker is still alive, still trapped under the wine glass. The things live on air. MY HOME IS INFESTED WITH DEMON-SPAWN, MUTANT, G-D FRUIT FLIES.


Send the men in white coats. I’ll go quietly. I’m actually looking forward to it.