Things I Learned at (or Because of) My Friends’ Wedding

1. Purple is the perfect color for a wedding.
2. St. Paul can be funny.
3. I must be doing something right. Everyone told me how fantastic I looked.
4. A kilt makes a gay man look straight. Until he dances with his boyfriend.
5. Too much wine can have the same effect on a man as too much whiskey.
6. My children are capable of getting themselves breakfast. However, left to their own devices, they will each eat a six-inch-tall hollow chocolate bunny instead of something sensible like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
7. Mild hangovers and kids are doable until about 5 o’clock.
8. A three-day weekend is perfect for a wedding.

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