Wishful Thinking

Monkey, much like the girl in the song from Knocked Up“Daughter” by Loudon Wainwright III — wants every thing she sees.

“I wish I had this baby cat, Mama.”
“I wish I had that book, Mama.”
“I wish I had that dog, Mama.”
“I wish I had that toy, Mama.”
“I wish I had that slide in my yard, Mama.”

This, obviously, is an extension of the materialism that started when she discovered The Littlest Pet Shop pets.

Although I started that chart for her in order for her to learn about earning things, I must admit I have completely forgotten about it over the last… oh, two months (mom of the year, right here). No tracking, no magnets, no money.

I mean to do it, I do. Especially when she goes off wishing for stuff. It isone more thing, one more blessed thing, and I feel that I cannot do onemorething. I feel like Monkey should remind me to do her chart after dinner and before bath time. Every night. I want my 4-year-old to remind me to do something that I started — and mean to continue — with lofty, sincere intentions.

I toy with the idea of just giving her a dollar every week. She is a good girl; she (mostly) does the stuff on the chart: clearing the table, sharing with Bun (when she wants). But I’m not sure just handing over money would be teaching her quite the same thing as earning money for specific things.

I feel maxed out as it is, and I feel awful for feeling maxed out. When things are added to my day-to-day list of things to do, it makes me want to go to sleep. I have a dining room that needs a serious cleaning before Mother’s Day brunch on Sunday; it won’t be done Saturday because I’m a little busy; I have three loads of laundry that need to be folded (Lost night is also Fold Laundry night); I have a husband who needs me to have a healthy meal ready for him when he gets home at 8:30 p.m. — and I want to help him with this; the dirty laundry that lurks in my basement is intimidating (still left over from Cook Forest weekend); and, and, and… bills, daily cleaning, children needing to be loved and fed and washed. And a full-time job. And stuff I want to do for me. And weekends full of family and friend obligations.

Am I doing something wrong? Is this the common state of motherhood when the children are young and the husband works 80 hours a week? Am I just destined to lose my mind?

4 thoughts on “Wishful Thinking

  1. I feel the same way. I think my mind is just plain gone, or at least it no longer belongs to me. I would love to go on strike, or protest, or at least just take a nap, but then how would anything get done?

    See you Saturday. Are your little ladies coming, too?

  2. […] I feel I’m doing the best I can with what I got. Most days, this is perfectly okay. Sometimes, it’s a little embarrassing — I would be mortified if you, dear reader, came to my house unannounced. Occasionally, DearDR and I fight about it, and, occasionally, I find it depressing. […]

  3. Hello there! I just started reading your blog recently, and I can identify with your sentiments in this post very well. It happens to dads, too.

    Trying to handle a full-time job, get dinner ready by the time my wife & daughter get home from work & daycare, bath time, bed time, as well as house cleaning, yard work, fixing & painting anything that needs it, attempting to socialize with anyone, ever (ha!)… it gets to be too much. I often feel like I’m not getting anything done, or doing much good in the long run.

    But, I just need to remember that I have a wonderful wife (who is indeed involved with every task listed above, as well, she’s no slacker), and a beautiful and wonderful daughter, and that we are very happy together… despite feeling like I “never” get enough time to get things done, let alone relax and/or socialize, my life is pretty good.

    Just busy!

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