Because what one finds relaxing these days is different.
For example, only having one child as one runs errands. And I had the quiet one, at that. The Bun one, who is content with her binky and her new Uniqua doll from Barnes & Noble. The one who will walk in circles around me as I exchange clothes at Old Navy. The one who will share my spinach and feta pretzel, and talk to me. I’m not sure I understood, but I think she was saying, “Hey, mommy! It is nice to have you all to myself for a change. That other one is noisy! Always chatting, or screaming in the car when the sun gets in her eyes, or yelling, ‘Look at that!’ while you’re driving.”
It’s nice to only have one child to follow or feed or buy a treat for (thank goodness for gift cards). And also have the one child who will smile at everyone and hug legs of people who don’t belong to her. “Hey,” I know she explained at some point during that lunch, “everybody looks the same from the knees down.”
What makes us relax, what vacation days are like, they are different now.
I think I am also holding onto these things because things may be changing. Some job interviews have gone well. And these contented hours I spend now, will be hours I seek, hours we need to get, hours that will have to be scheduled. And while that kind of change makes me apprehensive, I know that it is a change we need.
(Oh, sorry about the lack o’ recipe this Monday. I haven’t tried anything new in a while, so I wanted to wait until I had a couple stored up to share.)