And tonight, kids, I’m going all in.
Number of Christmas trees erected at the Casa di RPM: 0
Number of Christmas trees that will be erected this year: 0
Number of lights on the house: 0
Number of times per mile while we are in the car Monkey says, “Look at all the lights!”: 42
Number of Christmas cards mailed: 0
Number of cards that will be mailed: 0
Number of cookies baked (or to be baked, by me): 0
(Are you seeing a trend? It gets better!)
Number of times in public my children get asked, “What is Santa going to bring you this year?”: 36
Number of times my children have gone to see Santa (or will): 0
Number of presents wrapped: 0
(I do have to say, I am almost done Christmas shopping. Not only that, DearDR is almost done shopping because of my efforts. The only person for whom DearDR needs to buy presents is ME. Do you need a list, honey?)
Number of presents each person in my household will receive: 3
Number of presents I still have to buy for Bun: 2
Number of presents I still have to buy for DearDR: 2
Number of presents I still have to buy for Monkey: 0 (She was easy this year. In part because of this; again, from Chag at Cynical Dad.) (I do too read other blogs.)
Here’s where I raise the stakes.
Number of parties we are hosting at Casa di RPM this year (including Christmas Eve): 2
Days until the first party, an Open House to celebrate DearDR’s license: 2
Number of people expected to come to Open House: 100
Number of rooms actually ready for Open House: 2, if I don’t use the kitchen from today until Saturday. So, 1.
Number of rooms in my house that will probably get some use that weekend: 7
Number of rooms in my house (not counting the basement): 9
Number of children in the household who projectile vomited in two rooms tonight: 1 (Bun)
Number of patches of baking soda and/or fabric cleaner in those two rooms: 6
I had Monkey’s third birthday party here last month. Next month, I will probably have Bun’s first birthday party here, too. It’s a good thing I’m married to this guy.
(I am going to add briefly here: I am not a Scrooge or a Grinch or any of that. I do like Christmas, because of what it represents spiritually, i.e. the birth of Jesus Christ, the Savior. But this is not that post, so I’m not going to say anymore at this point.)
Edited to add: Make that 4 rooms in which Bun has vomited. This time, we just changed the sheets in the pack n’ play, and we made it to the sink to make room number 4.
Number of stuffed animals that need to be cleaned of Bun’s vomit: 3
Number of shirts I have had to change because of Bun’s vomit: 3
Number of children who proceeded to stuff cotton batting up her nose when she should have been sleeping: 1 (Monkey)
Number of parents it took to get cotton out of Monkey’s nose: 2
Number of parents at Case di RPM who are having nervous breakdowns: 2
Approximate number of hours I will sleep tonight: 2