Dora the Annoying

I have about 10 minutes here — probably less. But the hubs decided he wanted to catch up on the new Dora DVDs that Monkey got for Valentine’s Day. So he is currently trapped in the hell that is Dora’s Pirate Adventure — the musical. I think even Monkey may be annoyed by this episode.

I know that Dora is supposed to be good for language development, according the the folks here anyway. And I can see why — all that repetition. And, also, my toddler can count to ten in Spanish, which I can’t even do (which is a sad commentary itself).

The Top Seven Things I Can’t Stand about Dora the Explorer
(Yeah, I couldn’t think of ten things. Although I will the next time I watch Dora, I guarantee it.)

7. The music. Oh, dear God, I can’t stand the songs. They get stuck in my head. And there is nothing more annoying than the repetition of “We Did It”, especially when I can’t get to my iTunes. The map song is pretty annoying too. I mean, yeah, he’s the map. Does he have to tell me 50 times?
6. Boots. What is up with that monkey? Why does he wear boots? Why is he so materialistic (see episodes “Bouncey Ball” and the one about his toy firetruck).
5. The way they look out of the TV to solicit guidance. “Do you see the [insert object/place here]?” Yeah, numbskulls, it’s right behind you. Stop looking at me! Turn around! I swear my nightmares are populated by blank, round eyed characters staring at me waiting for me to tell them where the volcano is.
4. Those volcanoes. Where does Dora live that there are so many freaking volcanoes. And why do they expel balls rather than lava? WHY?
3. Dora’s big head. It is completely out of proportion to the rest of her — and other characters’ heads are not dispropotional to nearly the same degree. Even Diego’s head isn’t so big.
2. Swiper. That sneaky fox is a raving kleptomanic. If he’s so intent on swiping things, why does he immediately throw them away with a snarky, “You’ll never find it now”? And why does saying “Swiper no swiping” three times stop him?
1. She needs my help. Dora always needs my help. Good God, what would she do without me?

I’m not as worried about Monkey watching Dora as I am DearDR. I mean, he seriously wanted to watch the Pirate Adventure episode. I handed him Bun (who was getting a bottle after three hours of feeding on me), and left him to it. About 10 minutes in, I heard him say in a flat voice, “It’s a musical.” Later, sucker.

Well, it’s my turn with the Bun again. Still awake after the bottle. Sigh. Someday, I will get to watch a DVD — that is not Dora or Blues Clues — all the way through.

4 thoughts on “Dora the Annoying

  1. This is so friggen true!I love you for writing this because i totally agree! its absolutely fabulous! DORA IS SO ANNOYING! laughed so hard at the head thing

  2. Totally true!!! I HATE Dora!!! She is so friggin annoying. Boots too! Especially when he sais
    “Say map! Say map!” Like one thousand times and never shuts up!! I wish they would just cancel that dumb show

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