A moment of quiet

Both the children are sleeping. My husband is out with his father. If he were here, we could be getting jiggy with it, but he’s not. I have laundry going because one always must have laundry going.

I confessed to DearDR that I am afraid of sex right now. I am afraid it will hurt; I am afraid I will disappoint him. I am afraid of getting pregnant again. At the same time, I think we need to start moving toward some type(s) of intimacy. Kissing, petting, spooning… other ways of orgasm. Because the way we are living, it’s just getting more difficult (I would say harder, but that would look like a pun) to move toward intimacy.

Sometimes, when we have problems, I feel like while we are good at acknowledging the problems, we aren’t so good at solving the problems. We communicate well (much of the time), but that’s all we do in some cases. Like the sex issue lately. Last night, he heard me out, and acknowledged my fear. I offered him some relief last night; he said, “why don’t we do something tomorrow afternoon?” That would be now. And he’s not here. I asked when he would be back from his shopping trip with his dad, and he said he didn’t know.

We have to start doing something, but we can’t do it alone. Know what I mean?

In the meantime, I am trying to get in the habit of pumping milk once a day. Are you familiar with the electric breast pump? Not the most comfortable way to get milk out of the boobs. Efficient as all hell, I will say. But fun? Comfortable? Not so much.

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