Red Pen Mama

What the girls are up to:

Bun says new words every day. Her first sentence? “I want that.” Rendered phonetically: “Eyeontdat.” Picture the little pudgy hand reaching out in a grasping motion as well.

Cute — adorable, actually — but probably spells trouble for the future.

DearDR asserts that she hasn’t actually said a sentence because she doesn’t yet understand conjugation: She wants that; you want that. I understand his point, but I’m still calling it her first sentence.

Monkey’s first sentence was a question: “What is that?” Phonetically: “Wot dat?”

Bun doesn’t seem to care, she just wants “dat”. Especially if her sister has it, of course.

Holy cow, I did not realize the “must do everything older sibling is doing” phase would start at 17 months.

And who knew girls wrestled?? I’ll try to post video. As long as I don’t have to intervene to keep someone from suffocating her sister. And that can go either way.

Monkey is dressing herself. She usually does a good job, although she occasionally puts things on backwards. She has not yet insisted on picking out her own clothing. Once in a while, she will insist on wearing her rain boots, but she seems content to leave sartorial decisions to me. For now.

We went to the pediatrician and he proclaimed all ears are clear of fluid and infection. This is a relief, but I wonder how long it will last.

We have an appointment with an ENT doctor at the end of the month.

The chiropractor suggested going dairy free. I am dubious, and my pediatrician was downright nonplussed. I give him credit for not blurting out, “What crazy person told you that??” Because I saw it flit across his face before he became composed and simply said, “I have never heard of dairy affecting ear infections.”

The chiropractic literature is full of the suggestion that dairy allergies lead to ear infections. I have doubts. The pediatric literature doesn’t mention it. So… yeah.

I would like to avoid tubes for the girls as I know they will outgrow this problem. (Thanks for the comments, everyone — online and off.) At the same time, I would like to stop treating them with antibiotics, because I think we may be creating a problem down the line. I have my doubts about going non-dairy because the girls don’t really seem to have a problem with dairy — no lactose intolerance, no runny noses, etc. Plus, they usually get organic dairy, and their exposure to cow’s milk (as a beverage) is minimal. They drink fortified soy or rice “milk”.

Also, quite frankly, going completely dairy-free is next to impossible. I am a label-reader because of the vegetarian thing anyway. I challenge you to find food without some kind of dairy (casein, whey, non-fat milk, you name it). Fresh fruits and veggies are about it. And very expensive organic cookies. But even “Veggie Slices” is loaded with dairy; it just doesn’t contain lactose, which is the most common culprit of gastric distress in those who can’t tolerate dairy.

In short: lots going on, as per usual. We probably will not go dairy-free — I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I feel pretty good that despite the ear infections Bun’s language development is moving right along. No doubt her next sentence will be, “I’m going to scream if I don’t get that.” Oh, wait. She doesn’t really need language per se for that, huh?

At least she is signing “please”.

51. States I have traveled to: Washington (Spokane, Seattle); Oregon (Portland); California (San Francisco, Santa Rosa, Napa & Sonoma — this was all in one trip); Nevada (Las Vegas); (also in one trip, a month-long drive across the country): Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, North & South Dakota, Nebraska (just drove through), Iowa, Wisconsin, and so on — there were other states on this trip, obviously, but this is the only time I visited those listed here; Florida; Ohio, several times — Cleveland doesn’t totally suck to visit; Illinois (Chicago); Indiana (Noblesville, Indianapolis); Maryland, several times — I really like Baltimore’s Inner Harbor; New York (NYC); New Jersey (kind of adjacent to our NYC trip); Massachusetts (Boston, Cape Cod); Rhode Island (Providence); Washington, D.C.; West Virginia (just little pop-ins); Kentucky (Louisville — Hi, Laura, remember me??).
52. My favorite book of all time (non-fiction) is The Chicago Manual of Style. DearDR bought the 15th edition for me for Mother’s Day in 2006. No, I did not kick his ass.
53. My favorite movie is Blade Runner (I am partial to the original cut); my second favorite is The Princess Bride. If I had to pick a third, I would be hard-pressed to choose between O Brother Where Art Thou? and the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
54. My favorite author is Stephen King. For Mother’s Day this year I went and picked up his new book Duma Key, and read the first three chapters at the bookstore.
55. My favorite Stephen King book is The Stand — either version, abridged or unabridged.
56. Other top authors on my shelves: J. K. Rowling, Margaret Atwood, Susan Cooper, Madeline L’Engle, Guy Gavriel Kay, Neil Gaiman, C. S. Lewis, and Michael Chabon.
57. I am planning to re-read the entire Harry Potter series this summer (2008).
58. I am hoping DearDR will read it, too, and we can discuss it.
59. After all, I have read all of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings books, including The Hobbit.
60. And I have seen all the movies with him, in the theaters, too. DearDR… to say that DearDR is a fan of the Tolkien books is the understatements of all understatements. DearDR, if I would let him get away with it, would become a Tolkien scholar — just like the ones on the Lord of the Rings DVDs extras. DearDR, while watching the movies, can tell you if a character said the lines of dialogue in the books; if not, who did say them; and if not at the moment portrayed in the movie, when in the book.
61. Yes, I married a geek.
62. While we’re on the subject, DearDR better be planning to see all the Narnia movies with me, in the theater. So far, we have seen all the Harry Potters together. Maybe we missed Goblet of Fire in the theaters. I know we missed one.
63. The Narnia books and movies are my Lord of the Rings.
64. And it drives me nuts when we see the Harry Potter movies, and DearDR wants to know if such-and-such is in the book, and when/if such-and-such dies. My invariable response is, “Read the book.”
65. I seem to have gotten off-topic here, which is unusual. Sorry about that. More about me:
66. I used to be much more organized than I am now. It was easier for me to be organized before I got married and had children. Compared to my husband, however, I am the paragon of organization.
67. I am an avid list maker. I make lists daily. Who to call about what, errands to run, bills to pay, what to buy at the store. I can fly without a list, but it’s not pretty.
68. My Pandora stations (and the bands who are on them): Death Cab for Cutie; X; Bob Mould (Husker Du, Sugar); No Doubt; Gnarls Barkley (Red Hot Chili Peppers); Hem (Feist, Lucinda Williams, Madeline Peyroux, Sheryl Crow, Sun Kil Moon, The Innocence Mission); Joseph Arthur (Tori Amos, The Decemberists, John Mayer), Wilco (Fountains of Wayne, Radiohead), and The White Stripes (Green Day, Pixies, The Clash, The Kinks).
69. Bands I have heard on my stations whose albums I would now like to buy (those already listed, of course): The Killers, Black Keys, Sun Kil Moon, Interpol’s most recent, The Breeders most recent.
70. Other tops bands in my collection: Pearl Jam, U2, Beck, Coldplay, Modest Mouse, and The Shins.
71. When I get tired of listening to everything else, I turn to hip-hop, rap, and R&B. My CD collection includes Eminem, Missy Elliot, Outkast, and the Black-Eyed Peas. I don’t have enough!
72. With the comp time I am getting from all this overtime I am putting in, I am going to see Radiohead in Cleveland. DearDR has already offered to baby sit! (Of course, he was offering to baby sit for my brother-in-law-in-law — this is what I call Earthmom’s husband — I just jumped on the offer.)
73. Every summer my family — my whole extended Dad-side of the family — heads to Seven Springs, Pennsylvania, for a few days (some people come for the weekend; some for the week). This is roughly 150 people once you count spouses and children.
74. On my father’s side, I have 17 first cousins. On my mother’s side, I have 10.
75. I am the oldest child in my family. Being firstborn has its privileges — and its hassles.
76. On my mother’s side, I am the oldest grandchild. I beat my closest cousin by five months.
77. On my father’s side, I am on the younger side — my sister is the youngest grandchild. I’m about… 11th or 12th.
78. I have lived alone, in my own apartment. I think everyone should live alone at some point in her/his life. It teaches you to rely on your own resources.
79. I think you should also live with members of the same sex and members of the opposite sex (as roommates only). (That’s not the Catholic in me speaking — well, not completely — it’s experience.) (And while we’re at it, women should always have women friends. You need girlfriends, girlfriend!)
80. I chose special lullabies for my girls. For Monkey, I used to sing “Edelweiss”. For Bun, I picked “The Rainbow Connection”.
81. Now, I usually sing a silly lullaby or two for Monkey (along the lines of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star-io” or “Rock-a-bye Baby-seeta” — her suggestion) and for Bun I usually sing “You Are My Sunshine”.
82. I don’t know if you’re familiar with “You Are My Sunshine”, the real song. It’s not exactly lullaby material (neither is “Rock-a-bye Baby” come to that). We’ve changed (well, DearDR changed) the lyrics of the second verse: “The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping/ I dreamt I held you in my arms/ When I awoke, dear, you were beside me/ And I closed my eyes and smiled.” (If you don’t know, those last two lines are actually: “When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken/ Please don’t take my sunshine away.” It’s really a heartbreaking song.) There, now you’ve had a little lyrical lesson.
83. I am thoroughly addicted to coffee. I drink about four cups every morning.
84. I have given up coffee — once, completely, for Lent. The headache lasted a week.
85. I cut back on caffeine a lot when I was pregnant with Monkey, and cut back a little when I was pregnant with Bun.
86. And I mean, COFFEE. If my stomach could tolerate it, I would drink it black. Not cappuccino, espresso, frappaccino, whipped caramel lattes with sprinkles.
87. Strong coffee. With lots of cream.
88. I have weight issues. Not the usual “I need to lose 5 pounds” weight issues, just the opposite. If I am not careful about what I eat, I will LOSE weight.
89. I know you hate me now.
90. I am still trying to get back up to my goal weight of 130 pounds.
91. It would help if I could fit some weight training into my schedule. Muscle weighs more.
92. I am skinny, but I am out of shape. Every day I try to figure out how to get an exercise routine into my schedule. I haven’t solved it yet. Getting up at 4 a.m. just isn’t going to happen.
93. I am 5-feet, 10-inches tall in my bare feet.
94. I love to wear heels, but they are hell on my lower back.
95. I have worn glasses since I was in 2nd grade.
96. I have worn gas-permeable, rigid contact lenses since I was in 8th grade. While I would like to switch to soft contact lenses, the thought of LASIK terrifies me.
97. Naveen Andrews is my marriage clause. It used to be Hugh Jackman — and could go back to him when the Wolverine movie hits the theaters. (If you don’t know what a marriage clause is, the idea behind it is: You pick a famous person for whom you lust. If you ever get a crack at said person, go for it; no consequences. DearDR’s is usually Mariska Hargitay.)
98. I chipped my right front tooth in half when I was 9 years old. I have had a root canal, and twice undergone “bonding” to repair it. It looks like shit, and I really need to have it capped.
99. When I smile for pictures, I usually keep my lips closed. My mom says this is too bad, because she thinks my smile is my best feature.
100. I have green eyes. I think they are my best feature.

If you have not done this on your blog (or in your journal), I challenge you to do it. See how long it takes! I formally tag all the Burgh Moms out there to do it. I’ll add the links here as I get ‘em. Have fun! (If you’ve already done it, and want me to link to it, just let me know.)

Today, I want to celebrate the articulate moms out there who are able to put into words why we do this — this weird blogging thing that if you don’t get it, you really don’t get it, and if you do get it, you’re a little obsessed by it.

Mommy-blogs have come under some attention (or, if you like, scrutiny) by the media. Here’s my local favorite explaining why we do this on air.

So, here’s to some brave, articulate (again) mommies out there who I love to read, and laugh with, and think, “Oh yeah, I am right there.”

I have gotten away from writing the love letters to my children. I have been very bitchy lately. And since I am just working a lot and short of sleep — and not, say, going through days and days of labor — then I think I will work to stop bitching, and start to write those love letters again. Because like every mother’s children, mine are the most beautiful, most brilliant, most fun (and yes, most maddening) children in the world.

I will be spending the day in a bookstore with a sinfully rich coffee drink of some kind and the most recent Stephen King book. Ironically, sans the kiddos. We are meeting at a chain restaurant for dinner, because no one wants to cook and clean (Earthmom clan and my in-laws, too).

Happy Moms day. Happy mommy blogging.

Just a couple of things to add to yesterday’s post:

I haven’t been using the air conditioner in my car, even when it’s been pretty hot outside (yes, believe it or not, it’s been pretty hot occasionally so far). I just leave the windows rolled down, except on the highway, when it’s actually more efficient to drive with the windows up.

I don’t top off at the gas station. I fill up in the morning, and not at night.

I don’t leave my car running. I don’t know if the rest of the parents who leave their kids with DCL are made of money (if so, why are they both working??), but all the other moms & dads run their cars while they get their kids. I’m stunned by this. It seems so extravagantly wasteful.

Okay, I’m done for now. Could you help me off this soapbox??

I better get up on this posting thing if I’m going to stay in the game. One of my favorite locals is organizing a Pittsburgh blogging-mommies get-together. I better surf around to get caught up on everyone, too! Maybe leave a few comments…

I’ve been working hard to figure out how to be a little more environmentally friendly in my daily life. I want to do something huge, like buy a hybrid car, but we’re just not there financially yet.

The other huge change we could make would be to move closer to where we work. I haven’t brought this up with DearDR yet, as the thought is entirely too daunting for me to concretely contemplate. But the fact is DearDR and I commute 30 minutes from our house to our workplaces; spend about $100 in gasoline each week; and work about 10-15 minutes from each other. I think relocation should be researched and discussed.

The small things I do:
• We’re switching out all the regular light bulbs in our house to the fluorescent ones. DearDR is the force behind this decision. He is sick of our high electric bill, plus as he’s the one who most often does the changing of bulbs, he’s saving himself some time and effort. As I’m sure you know by now, the fluorescent ones cost more at first, but as they last between 3 and 5 years, so in the long run, you’re doing your wallet a big favor.

• Canvas grocery bags. The stores here are jumping on the bandwagon, and that’s okay with me. I use the bags that my grocery store sells, and I have just picked up a Target bag as well (may invest in another). I use these bags anywhere and everywhere, not just for shopping. They are sturdy; they hold a lot. The big trick with these bags: Remember to take them to the store with you. This sound self-evident. I still forget them about a third of the time (down from half the time, so I’m getting better). My suggestion is to try to keep them in the car, some place visible. Sticking them in the trunk means you may still forget to bring them in the store, and you’ll be kicking yourself at the checkout.

• Bring my own coffee cup and water cup to work. Does anyone actually like drinking out of styrofoam cups? My water cup is a plastic concession cup from a Penguins game. (Go, Pens!) I am contemplating getting a bunch of coffee mugs from a dollar store and just leaving them in the coffee room. Wouldn’t that be nice?

• Biodegradable/environmentally friendly cleaning products: So after finding out that fabric softeners and dryer sheets use beef fat or animal tallow, I’ve switched to method. I am also using Ecos laundry detergent, and looking into even more ways to completely clean green. Vinegar and baking soda solutions, other method and Ecos products, and so on. I can’t think of any reason not to clean with green products. They aren’t even that much more expensive — a little, yes, but not enough to give me pause.

[Aside: I started writing this yesterday, and I've totally lost my train of thought. Better wrap up and get out!]

• I’m looking into compost boxes. Those things are pricey. But I would like nice dirt, and I can make it myself. Plus, I figure the kids’ll love making dirt, too!

• I have begun faithfully throwing old food down my kitchen disposable, because, der, it’s biodegradable. Putting it in the garbage just means it ends up rotting inside a plastic bag at the landfill! You would think I could have figured that out sooner.

The other things I’ve been doing so long I don’t even think about it
• Being vegetarian;
• Recycling;
• Eating more organic, local, and chemical-free foods.

One more big change we could make, but I am still hesitating: Disposable diapers. I know I should just stop and invest in a reusable diaper system. My sister-in-law Earthmom experimented with them for awhile, and likes them — I think she goes back and forth, plus her daughter is potty training. I have (well, Bun has) another year and a half of diapers. The biggest obstacle is Day Care Lady; I have no doubt she will put the kibosh on reusables. She’s got a lot of butts to wipe and diapers to change. But I could still make the switch, at home and at night and on weekends.

Oh, well. My sins in the disposable world I will try to make up in other earth-friendly ways.

Thank you for being brave yesterday.

Thank you for taking Bun to her 15-month check up. I know, logistically speaking, it wasn’t the easiest thing for you to do.

But more importantly, I know emotionally it wasn’t easy for you, either. I know that you feel that you don’t know enough about our children to answer some of the questions the pediatrician asks. But you only called once, to ask about Bun’s calcium and protein intake, so I think you must have done all right.

The biggest surprise for me was that you had Bun get the MMR vaccination.

I could not have been more surprised to see a Band-aid on Bun’s arm when I picked her up from daycare yesterday.

“What this?” I asked.

Day Care Lady said, “She had a shot.”

“Oh,” I replied. “Do you know which one?”

“The MMR.”

I thought for sure she was mistaken. “No,” I said, “it must have been another.”

“Oh, no,” DCL insisted. “I remember because my son had a bad reaction to that one, and I was watching her very closely. I was supposed to call you if she had any side effects.”

In the meantime, Bun was laughing in my arms, pointing at the dogs in the neighbors’ yards, saying, “Hi-ya” and “Da!” — her current word for “dog”. She was smiling and waving “bye-bye” to DCL. When I “woofed” into her cheek to tell her that’s what doggies said, she belly laughed. Actually, she was more pleasant yesterday than she has been for quite awhile.

I still couldn’t believe she had gotten the MMR. Vaccinations, in general, have been a bone of contention for us since Monkey was born. At first, you were 100 percent set against them. You finally agreed to have our children vaccinated after we both did some research, talked with our pediatricians, and I agreed that Monkey (and future children) would get one shot at a time. I did agree that the vaccination schedule was too aggressive, so while the “one-shot” rule meant more visits for me, I (pretty much) held to that schedule, with both our daughters.

I know that the MMR scared you. You work with a challenged population of children, and vaccinations are highly suspect among the parents of those children. Monkey still has not had her MMR. (We have to get on that if we’re starting her in school this fall.) I had agreed to wait for Bun, too.

But you decided to go ahead. You said you and the doctor had a long talk about it, and about Bun’s language development (you feel it’s not coming along well enough). You wouldn’t go into details (which makes me incredibly curious, by the way). You asked me to do some things to help Bun learn to verbally communicate, and I am more than willing.

You said, “I was making a decision based on my fear, and I can’t do that.”

Thank you, for not doing that. I know that living without fear has been a goal of yours for years now. Living without your fear has gotten you your Ph.D., your psychology license — and, probably, is a factor in our getting married. It certainly is a major factor in us being able to go forward after our loss of Gabriel, to have two bright, beautiful girls.

I’m glad you could put aside your fear in the doctor’s office yesterday. I think vaccinations are the right thing to do. I’m glad Bun got her MMR. And I will work with her to help her to speak more. I definitely need her to start communicating better!

Anyway, DearDR, it means a lot to me that Bun received her MMR. I know this subject is not laid to rest between us. The conversation will continue, and that means a lot to me, too.

Love, your wife,
rpm

I haven’t an idea for a letter today. And I don’t have an idea for an alternative letter theme.

I could write to my other Best Friend, M. We hadn’t spoken since we saw each other in December; we managed to touch base briefly over the weekend (over the phone). She even missed my birthday! (She is not alone.) In a recent email, she said she was a horrible friend, but I don’t think so, and I told her that. She’s just busy. We all get busy, and sometimes it’s harder than others to keep in touch.

I could write to either or both of my sisters-in-law, both of whom I would like to see soon! And I would especially like our children to get together, and play, and possibly have sleep overs. I missed Earthmother and her children this past weekend due to our “spontaneous” trip to Erie. I have been trying to make plans with my other sister-in-law since my youngest nephew’s birthday in March, but it looks as if we won’t get to see each other until next month. Probably for another nephew’s birthday! See? Busy.

I could write to DearDR again. Frankly, though, I would rather see him face-to-face. Have a conversation, some wine, some kisses. That would be better than either writing a letter to him (although that might cheer him up — he’s feeling blue) or our current and literal passing-in-the-night-phase we’re going through. Doesn’t help when your 3-year-old insists on sharing your bed.

I could write to the 3-year-old. Dear Monkey: Sleep in your own bed. Please. Thank you, Mommy.

I could write to pharmaceutical companies on behalf on my 8 and 1/2 months pregnant friend whose mother is going through treatment for lung cancer. Dear Pharmaceutical Companies: Why put anti-nausea medicine in a pill? Think about it. Sincerely, Red Pen Mama

But all of these seem short, not altogether worthy of an entire post in themselves.

Hope I come up with something better tomorrow. Sigh.

Looking for inspiration,
rpm

Holy crap, I can’t believe I just did this.

Next year, I’m going for the “real thing”.

If I post two in one day (not really likely to happen again), do I get to skip??

I got this e-mail from my friend Hope, and although I don’t do these things often, I was in the mood this morning:

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1) Erie Zoo concession worker (the summer the polar bear were in heat)
2) table server at the Gertrude Barber Center (nursing home)
3) delivery person for my parents’ pharmacy (yeah, I delivered drugs!)
4) secretary to the chair of LIS at Pitt

B) Four movies I could watch over and over:
1) Pirates of the Caribbean I and II
2) O Brother Where Art Thou
3) Narnia
4) the Harry Potter movies

C) Four places I have lived:
1- Erie, PA
2 - Pittsburgh PA
3- Coraopolis PA
Um, I’ve only lived these three places!

D) Four television shows I watch:
1- Heroes
2-Lost
3-CSI:
4- sometimes: House, CSI: Miami (I like to see how many times David Caruso takes off his sunglasses)

E) Four places I have been on vacation:
1) Florence, Italy
2) Paris, France
3) Seven Springs (every year since I was about five)
4) San Francisco/Napa Valley

F) Websites I visit almost daily: When I’m online…
1) Her Bad Mother
2) Cynical Dad/Dad Gone Mad
3) my “blog”: www.albamaria30.wordpress.com
4) my bank account

(G) Four of my favorite foods:
1. Organic strawberries
2. Cheese from Penn Mac in the strip
3) salad tossed with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic salt and salt & pepper
4) Sarris Easter chocolates (esp. Peanut butter or caramel filled ones)

(H) Four places I would rather be right now:
1) the Pittsburgh Zoo with my family
2) traveling to the Horsetrack Party in NJ
3) (believe it or not) working at a full-time writing job
4) Ithaca, NY on a winery tour