Red Pen Mama

I wish every Saturday was just like this.

If you do not want to reach through the screen to cuddle Bun when she says hi to the camera, your heart is made of cold, hard stone.

My voice is super loud on here, but you should really turn up the volume to hear how cute Monkey sounds.

Sorry about Monkey’s pants. We’re working on it. But if she’s like her mama, she won’t have hips until she actually gives birth.

Today, I want to celebrate the articulate moms out there who are able to put into words why we do this — this weird blogging thing that if you don’t get it, you really don’t get it, and if you do get it, you’re a little obsessed by it.

Mommy-blogs have come under some attention (or, if you like, scrutiny) by the media. Here’s my local favorite explaining why we do this on air.

So, here’s to some brave, articulate (again) mommies out there who I love to read, and laugh with, and think, “Oh yeah, I am right there.”

I have gotten away from writing the love letters to my children. I have been very bitchy lately. And since I am just working a lot and short of sleep — and not, say, going through days and days of labor — then I think I will work to stop bitching, and start to write those love letters again. Because like every mother’s children, mine are the most beautiful, most brilliant, most fun (and yes, most maddening) children in the world.

I will be spending the day in a bookstore with a sinfully rich coffee drink of some kind and the most recent Stephen King book. Ironically, sans the kiddos. We are meeting at a chain restaurant for dinner, because no one wants to cook and clean (Earthmom clan and my in-laws, too).

Happy Moms day. Happy mommy blogging.

“It’s probably a virus, and there’s nothing much we can do for her.”

Great, thank you. I missed half a day of work for this, which means I have to work half a day on Saturday? Fan-freakin-tastic.

Admittedly, when your 3-year-old starts screaming that her lady business hurts (yes, she knows all the scientific names for everything, she just chooses to use “lady business”, courtesy of DearDR) when she is peeing, you kind of figure something is up. And it’s better to go to the doctor than not.

And now, I’ve got a 3-year-old who seems to have no problem peeing when someone else is in charge, but when I take her, she balks and cries and says it is going to hurt.

The medicine I picked up at the doctor’s suggestion (takes the sting out of peeing; turns urine orangey-red) stains everything bright yellow. It is a pill, see, and I have to crush half of an adult-sized dose, then mix it with some kind of liquid and get the 3-year-old to drink it. That didn’t go over well at all last night, and now I have a bright yellow stain in the middle of my already-not-so-attractive kitchen floor linoleum. And she’s not going to be able to wear that shirt again.

I suppose I could ask her to snort it, but I might be prepping her for a bad habit later.

I am very tired, Internet peeps. And real peeps. And family members. I don’t think I have it any harder or any worse than anyone else — at work, at home, in my extended family. So, while I don’t want to complain, I really want to complain.

I’m tired. My head is splitting. I have been working from 7 a.m. to 4:30 or 5 p.m., Monday through Friday; I have to come to work on Saturday this week.

When I get home, it’s kids and house duty. I can’t get to bed before 10 p.m. even when I need to.

The children have gone to the doctor every month so far this year; some months, we have had to go twice. They have been on nine antibotics between the two of them, and had three viruses (at least).

DearDR works. That is what he does. He works every day, longer hours than I work, and he gets less sleep than I. On Sundays, he makes brunch and cleans the hell out of the kitchen. And, then, often works a little.

I’m tired. And I’ve got five more weeks of overtime to go. Oh, well.

Maybe it’s time to schedule that spa visit (DearDR got me a gift certificate for Christmas).

Here is the first installment of 100 Things about Me.

I have number 51 written, too. But I am saving it for installment 2. I do not have #52 yet.

Once I get all 100, I will turn them into a page (i.e. “About”).

Thanks! Have fun.

N, you may leave suggestions in the comments.

1. I grew up in Erie, PA.
2. I moved to Pittsburgh when I was 19 years old, in 1990.
3. I lived on the South Side for 15 years before moving to the suburbs.
4. I stopped eating red meat in 1989.
5. I have been a complete vegetarian since 1991.
6. I am raising my two daughters as vegetarians.
7. Yes, I know they will probably eat meat someday.
8. I still smoke cigarettes — when the weather is good, usually one a night.
9. I have quit several times.
10. Although I found it very easy to quit each time I got pregnant, I used to dream about smoking cigarettes and drinking beer.
11. My parents have been married for 38 years. I was a honeymoon baby. Several family members counted the months between my parents’ wedding, and my birth (it’s more than nine, so my mother’s reputation is sterling).
12. I have two younger siblings, one sister, one brother. She is finishing chiropractic school; he is a dermatologist, married, with three sons.
13. I have four nephews and one niece; I have four god-children (only two of which to whom I am blood-related, my oldest nephew and my niece).
14. I am Catholic, and I love my faith. (I still have problems with the Church, per se, but I do truly love my faith. I don’t think this is contradictory at all.)
15. I have wanted to be a writer since I was in fourth grade. My career success varies, but all things considered, aside from being a mom and wife, I consider myself a writer foremost.
16. I am an Aquarius, and I think this is the best star sign.
17. I dabbled in astrology for awhile, and thus I know my moon is in Aries (which explains why I get on so well with N) and my ascendent is in Gemini.
18. I have known my best friend N for 37 years — give or take two months (she is exactly two months younger than I. And she never lets me forget it.)
19. I have known my best friend M since seventh grade.
20. I also have two other friends, A and H, whom I have known since high school.
21. I am still in touch with all of these friends. I wish I saw them all more often. A and I live in the same city — er, near the same city — and it’s still a minor miracle (or, depending how you look at it, a major feat) when we manage to get together.
22. I’m a published poet, nationally even.
23. It all started in sixth grade, when I won a poetry contest for a poem called “Scary Night”. I was, like, 54 out of 100, or something. The weird thing about this poem: It rhymed.
24. I have been published in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, City Paper, 5A.M., and The Pittsburgh Quarterly. Among others.
25. For a long while, I was “the” erotic poet of the Pittsburgh poetry scene.
26. I even hosted, with a good friend of mine, The Erotic Salon, a series of discussions about sex and the body in art. It was very cool.
27. It’s been a long time since I wrote what I would consider to be a poem. Sigh.
28. I would like to get an MFA in writing, either poetry or creative non-fiction.
29. I have traveled to Italy (Florence, some villages in Abruzzo, and Rome) and France (Paris). Well, and Canada: Toronto a couple of times, Montreal, and Niagara. My next international trip will be to Ireland — yet to be booked.
30. I took piano lessons for something like 12 years. I recently discovered that although technically I can still read music, I don’t remember the left hand very well. At all.
31. The only song I ever managed to memorize to play on piano was “Send in the Clowns”.
32. I am tone deaf.
33. I used to play the flute, too.
34. I played basketball in 8th grade. We went to the state finals that year. I had very little to do with that, believe me.
35. I played soccer for about 8 years. I was on my high school team my freshman year.
36. Then I discovered my school newspaper.
37. I helped launch the literary magazine at my high school. We called it “she says…”
38. Oh, yeah, I went to an all-girl Catholic high school. The school is no longer all girls.
39. I went to Catholic school for nearly 16 years, counting my education at Duquesne.
40. I was managing editor of my high school newspaper my senior year. My friend A was editor in chief — she beat me out! The faculty advisor explained that while I was a better writer, A was a much better people person. (She still is. Hence, I am a writer, she is a psychologist.)
41. I received the Founder’s Award, a merit-based scholarship to Duquesne University.
42. I had really wanted to go to Boston University, and I was accepted into their journalism program. But they were an expensive school in an expensive city, and I didn’t get any money from them.
44. I was editor in chief of The Duquesne Duke, the student newspaper, in my junior year. It was a pretty big deal.
45. I lived on campus the first three years of my college education.
46. Except in the summers, when I lived on the South Side.
47. I didn’t buy my first car until I was 25 years old. It was a black, 2-door Nissan Sentra. I miss that little car.
48. My first two full-time roommates (i.e. not in an apartment I was subletting for the summer, but one I had actually signed a lease for) were men, Joe and Steve. It was a three bedroom apartment. My mother was still scandalized.
49. I lost my virginity when I was 18 years old.
50. I lived with a boyfriend (the one I drove across the country with; see #51) for about nine months. I walked out on him, although the relationship limped along for another few months. We broke up for good at the hotel after my brother’s wedding.

That’s probably a redundant headline. Anyhoo:

• (Knock on wood): The girls are healthy. Bun has returned (for the most part) to her cheery self — aside from the occasional pre-meal tantrums. Monkey has boundless energy. As far as I can tell, their infections have cleared up. I hope a peek in their ears later this week confirms that.

• A year-and-a-half after it expired, I finally have a new driver’s license. Is this something people take care of right away? Because, honestly, if I didn’t need to renew it, I still would be carrying around an expired license with my old address on it.

• I need a new license because I am buying a car, and I need to take out a loan. Banks are so fussy these days about “proper” (i.e. current) ID.

• I am posting just so you know I haven’t gone away. The mandatory overtime is wearing me down, though.

• I am also posting to tell you: I am working on one of those “100 Things About Me” lists. I’m only up to number 21. That’s not even a quarter of the way through. I should get cracking. Because I know how you’re all just dying to know 100 more things about me!

Just a couple of things to add to yesterday’s post:

I haven’t been using the air conditioner in my car, even when it’s been pretty hot outside (yes, believe it or not, it’s been pretty hot occasionally so far). I just leave the windows rolled down, except on the highway, when it’s actually more efficient to drive with the windows up.

I don’t top off at the gas station. I fill up in the morning, and not at night.

I don’t leave my car running. I don’t know if the rest of the parents who leave their kids with DCL are made of money (if so, why are they both working??), but all the other moms & dads run their cars while they get their kids. I’m stunned by this. It seems so extravagantly wasteful.

Okay, I’m done for now. Could you help me off this soapbox??

I better get up on this posting thing if I’m going to stay in the game. One of my favorite locals is organizing a Pittsburgh blogging-mommies get-together. I better surf around to get caught up on everyone, too! Maybe leave a few comments…

I’ve been working hard to figure out how to be a little more environmentally friendly in my daily life. I want to do something huge, like buy a hybrid car, but we’re just not there financially yet.

The other huge change we could make would be to move closer to where we work. I haven’t brought this up with DearDR yet, as the thought is entirely too daunting for me to concretely contemplate. But the fact is DearDR and I commute 30 minutes from our house to our workplaces; spend about $100 in gasoline each week; and work about 10-15 minutes from each other. I think relocation should be researched and discussed.

The small things I do:
• We’re switching out all the regular light bulbs in our house to the fluorescent ones. DearDR is the force behind this decision. He is sick of our high electric bill, plus as he’s the one who most often does the changing of bulbs, he’s saving himself some time and effort. As I’m sure you know by now, the fluorescent ones cost more at first, but as they last between 3 and 5 years, so in the long run, you’re doing your wallet a big favor.

• Canvas grocery bags. The stores here are jumping on the bandwagon, and that’s okay with me. I use the bags that my grocery store sells, and I have just picked up a Target bag as well (may invest in another). I use these bags anywhere and everywhere, not just for shopping. They are sturdy; they hold a lot. The big trick with these bags: Remember to take them to the store with you. This sound self-evident. I still forget them about a third of the time (down from half the time, so I’m getting better). My suggestion is to try to keep them in the car, some place visible. Sticking them in the trunk means you may still forget to bring them in the store, and you’ll be kicking yourself at the checkout.

• Bring my own coffee cup and water cup to work. Does anyone actually like drinking out of styrofoam cups? My water cup is a plastic concession cup from a Penguins game. (Go, Pens!) I am contemplating getting a bunch of coffee mugs from a dollar store and just leaving them in the coffee room. Wouldn’t that be nice?

• Biodegradable/environmentally friendly cleaning products: So after finding out that fabric softeners and dryer sheets use beef fat or animal tallow, I’ve switched to method. I am also using Ecos laundry detergent, and looking into even more ways to completely clean green. Vinegar and baking soda solutions, other method and Ecos products, and so on. I can’t think of any reason not to clean with green products. They aren’t even that much more expensive — a little, yes, but not enough to give me pause.

[Aside: I started writing this yesterday, and I've totally lost my train of thought. Better wrap up and get out!]

• I’m looking into compost boxes. Those things are pricey. But I would like nice dirt, and I can make it myself. Plus, I figure the kids’ll love making dirt, too!

• I have begun faithfully throwing old food down my kitchen disposable, because, der, it’s biodegradable. Putting it in the garbage just means it ends up rotting inside a plastic bag at the landfill! You would think I could have figured that out sooner.

The other things I’ve been doing so long I don’t even think about it
• Being vegetarian;
• Recycling;
• Eating more organic, local, and chemical-free foods.

One more big change we could make, but I am still hesitating: Disposable diapers. I know I should just stop and invest in a reusable diaper system. My sister-in-law Earthmom experimented with them for awhile, and likes them — I think she goes back and forth, plus her daughter is potty training. I have (well, Bun has) another year and a half of diapers. The biggest obstacle is Day Care Lady; I have no doubt she will put the kibosh on reusables. She’s got a lot of butts to wipe and diapers to change. But I could still make the switch, at home and at night and on weekends.

Oh, well. My sins in the disposable world I will try to make up in other earth-friendly ways.

Ahhhh. That sound you heard late Saturday afternoon was my sigh of contentment, up in Cook Forest.

We went. It was good. DearDR and I squabbled a little over child care vs. vacation time, but not enough to bother me.

It was a near-perfect weekend. The kids had a blast. We got to relax (I did anyway; I guess I can’t speak for DearDR). And it was wonderful to see everyone, and see how well everyone was doing.

I’m glad we decided to go after all. Now I have to get back to real life (and crappy weather — where did spring go? — and the Penguins’ playoff games). I’ll always have my memories, right? They’ll have to get me through for a while.

So, I had to take a sick day yesterday. The doctor says I probably don’t have anything serious, since I didn’t have a high fever. He advised rest and liquids, Tylenol for discomfort (I had a very sore throat), and said I could travel this weekend, “as long as you’re not flying to Italy.”

Sigh. Italy.

I’m back at work today. I feel pretty good — about 70 percent. I could use more sleep. Monkey was up at 4 a.m., stealing my covers and kicking me. She was whining, too, but it wasn’t until 6:30 a.m., when she started wailing that we really paid attention. She was crying about how her ear hurt.

DearDR and my father-in-law took her to the doctor at 8:45 a.m. She has a double ear infection. Meds are pending. My father-in-law has the prescription.

DearDR hasn’t packed anything yet. I have the girls’ clothes, shoes, and rain gear together. Plus the toys, books, and arts & crafts stuff we will be taking. Tonight is the big packing night.

I want to go. I need to go. I need to hang with my friends and drink some beer (not too much — I’ll be doped up on cold medicine as needed, too). I want to watch my kids run around in the mud.

My whole team at work has just been placed on mandatory overtime, starting yesterday. So is it understandable I need to blow off steam?

Am I being crazy or selfish, taking my just-recovered-from-coxsackie-virus kids (one with a cough, one with a double ear infection) and myself into the woods? And DearDR, too, let’s not forget. Who will sleep as much as he can. To see friends I haven’t seen in awhile? To drink beer?

We’re not contagious any longer (or, not much, I guess. Who knows what germs my darling little petrie dishes are crawling with?). What would you do?

I set out this month with every intention of posting daily. Then, I dropped a day due to a day chock full of activity and accidents.

And then the girls came down with Coxsackie virus (this is the non-scary link; for the scary one, click here).

The Coxsackie virus, as some of you may be aware, is highly contagious and is the cause of foot-hand-and-mouth disease.

So far the foot/hand involvement has been minimal for my girls (knock wood). A few little pimples; Bun had a blister on her thumb. The mouth involvement, however, was brutal. Imagine how it would feel if your throat were lined with canker sores.

Now imagine being 15 months old.

On Wednesday, after I had been at the office for about 45 minutes, DearDR called.

“Bun is very clingy and whiny, and she’s still feverish,” he said.

“Do you want me to come home?” I asked.

“Yes.”

So I drove the half-hour home to hang with Bun. I just figured she as running a fever as a reaction to her MMR last week. (And if you want to read some really scary Internet stuff, just google “fever after MMR shot”, and read the non-official sites.) After she woke from a short, restless nap, I got a look down into Bun’s throat. She was screaming at the time, so it was real easy.

When the doctor saw it, he said, “Hmm. That doesn’t look like strep.”

They did a culture anyway. Negative for strep throat.

I have to admit here, that for the first time, my pediatrician’s office let me down. I don’t know if the doctor (one of our regulars) was booked or in a hurry to get out of there, but he gave no advice (except for the parting shot, “Tylenol” over his shoulder as he walked out the door) and answered no questions. A nurse answered some of my questions; my brother (a dermatologist) answered a couple more; and the Internet alternately scared me and soothed my fears (see links above).

And no one — not the doc, not the nurses, not even DCL — suggested I keep the girls at home. I mean, how dumb is that?

I think the reasoning was that they had a virus (well, to this point, Monkey didn’t have it, but she was raging with a juicy fever by the time I picked them up from daycare Thursday), and the other kids were already exposed anyway.

In short, I did end up staying home with them on Friday. And somehow or another, I actually got things done around the house over the weekend (this is where the in-laws were invaluable). I sorted through the girls’ clothes, swapping out fall/winter clothes for spring/summer, next sizes up. I got through a mountain of paperwork in the office (this due to a three-and-a-half hour nap on Bun’s part and DearDR’s occupying Monkey during that time).

Also, somehow or another, DearDR and I managed to spend some quality time as a couple. I think our mutual support and team-work fostered a sense of intimacy.

We weathered Bun clinging to me like a barnacle all day on Sunday, and the whining from both girls all weekend (this is where the beer proved invaluable). And now it’s Monday, the in-laws have the girls — we figured one more day at home would be in everyone’s best interest — and I am back at the office. I have my fingers crossed that everyone is on the mend.

Edited to add: Of course, I should have sucked it up and stayed home Thursday, too, but I felt… I don’t know, weird about it. Worried about my job and what my boss/employer would think. I was worried about the wrong, thing, I can safely admit now. I don’t know if I will lose vacation/personal time, or if it will count as sick time, and that doesn’t really matter, either. Everyone’s okay, and I’m certainly glad I stayed home on Friday, and that we’ve made it through the weekend.